Author Topic: RhyDin Population Confirms: Amelia Enderwood Clone Blows  (Read 156 times)

Darien Fenner

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RhyDin Population Confirms: Amelia Enderwood Clone Blows
« on: September 16, 2013, 10:06:32 PM »

[size=9]Amelia Enderwood: Satirist[/size]

Entire RhyDin Population Confirms: Amelia Enderwood Clone Blows
September 16, 2013

According to RhyDinians everywhere and every half-intelligent organism within ten parsecs of the planet, the Amelia Enderwood clone currently wasting valuable oxygen at The RhyDin Post headquarters seriously blows.

?Her writing is predictable and uninventive,? agrees everything everywhere capable of logical thought. ?The real Enderwood would never publish such tripe. When the real Enderwood writes a piece, she doesn?t do it by guzzling moonshine and banging her fat forehead all over a keyboard until she reaches 200 words.?

Added every single person ever: ?She should really leave. Like right now. And leave the real writers to do real work.?

Several local physicians have speculated that the recent eruption of paradoxical anomalies in the form of rifts may have something to do with her obviously near fatal brain damage.

?Why else would she suck this hard?? said the entire graduating class of Westpoint Medical School.

Amelia Enderwood the original declined to comment on the matter, further verifying that she is the epitome of excellence and integrity.

In related news, a study published by Westpoint Academy identifies articles authored by this clone as extremely intellectually hazardous, and recommends that any physical forms of this composition be burned or otherwise disposed of immediately.
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Darien Fenner

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Re: RhyDin Population Confirms: Amelia Enderwood Clone Blows
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2013, 10:08:14 PM »

[size=9]Amelia Enderwood: Satirist[/size]

Correction: September 16, ????

An article on September 16 about the ?clone? of Amelia Enderwood (henceforth referred to as Enderwood1) incorrectly identified the subject of the article by name. The named subject of the article was misstated as the clone of Amelia Enderwood (Enderwood1), when in fact the designated subject was Amelia Enderwood recently of Earth (Enderwood2).
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

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Re: RhyDin Population Confirms: Amelia Enderwood Clone Blows
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2013, 10:09:36 PM »

[size=9]Amelia Enderwood: Satirist[/size]

Correction: September 16, 2013

A correction published on September 16 incorrectly identified the original Amelia Enderwood as ?Enderwood2.? Enderwood the original, recently of Earth, henceforth will be referred to as Enderwood1.
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

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Re: RhyDin Population Confirms: Amelia Enderwood Clone Blows
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2013, 10:12:59 PM »

[size=9]Amelia Enderwood: Satirist[/size]


New Study Reveals Misuse of the Word ?Original? Skyrocketing
September 16, ????

Experts from the University of Wallamaloo, RhyDin, put out a statement today that data gathered from recently accrued research indicates the flagrant misuse of the word ?original? is on the rise.

Using incredibly invasive home monitoring means, a research team in the university?s Sociology Department collected information through verbal and written word, and have come to the conclusion that education of the definition of the word ?original? must be considered before applying its use.

According to Webster?s Dictionary, original in its adjectival form is defined as ?used or produced at the creation or earliest stage of something? (Webster, 2013). Jane Martin, a graduate student of the department, argues that the incorrect use of the word is likely attributable to some degenerative brain wasting disease.

?As I understand it, you cannot claim to be an ?original? of anything if you did not come first. Hypothetically if I went back in time and visited my old self, that self would be the original, because that self came first. Really, is that such a hard concept to master? Some idiots don't know what they're talking about.?

The research team additionally has suggested that anyone exhibiting such elementary improper word usage should be re-educated, or otherwise publicly humiliated.
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