I know it?s been a long time since I?ve written, and I have a lot to say, too? So much has gone on since my last entry? Now that I started writing, I think I?m having trouble remembering it all. Oh well, I?ll write what I remember now, and do the rest later! Here goes!
Well, I?ve gone on a few adventures with Katan and Minoko? Once they tried to help me, when Aviana was fighting with me. Aviana is my sister, by the way?Minoko actually fought for me. Aside from Valcroix, I?ve never really had anybody fight to protect me. It made me feel good, but it upset me at the same time, because she could have gotten hurt. Not to mention the fact that Katan is a human? When Aviana attacked, and the blast was going straight for him.. I don?t really know what I felt, like my heart was going to stop beating and fly from my chest to try and block it? That sounds stupid. Either way, I put my body in front of him, and I was the one who got hurt?but I think he got bruised up and just wouldn?t tell me about it? I got really mean, and I felt bad for hurting Aviana, but she could have killed Katan? I got angry, and I need to work on that?
Speaking of getting angry? I got into a really big fight the other day, too? A man named Diritas. He upset me, and I guess I let Phoenix out?another thing I need to work on. When I woke up, I was well, missing clothes and a lot of my skin. Minoko?saw me naked. I am ashamed of this. At least it wasn?t Katan, though? I think I won the fight though.. That reminds me, I need to give him back his jacket. Well, actually.. I think I?ll hold it hostage until he gets better manners!
I have a brother, too! I didn?t know this until a day or so ago. He came to see me, and I?m pretty sure Minoko played checkers with him? I mean, I guess I am happy for her and him, but I?m not sure how I feel about it! My friend and my brother? Playing checkers?... Oh well, it shouldn?t be any of my business. He met Val, and Max, too? I don?t think Val and him hit it off very well, but I also think they?re both kind of protective of me. I?m not sure, but his name is Emlen, and he?s very nice? A rough past, though.
I couldn?t see someone as strong as him, being worse than me? Not that I think he is, but to my people?s standards, I am a hero, and he?s a failure? I don?t understand how that works. His handler died, yeah? but? it was a mistake! I don?t know I wish I could help him, he loved her. I went through just thinking that Val was dead and it tore me up inside? I couldn?t imagine it being for real, forever? Katan was telling me about Minoko?s past, too? She lost two of her boyfriends to death? Even as I write this, I?m crying for her. I know nothing will heal that pain, but maybe Emlen and Minoko can heal each other?s hearts? Either that, or I?ll work on my healing abilities.
Speaking of that? I tried to heal Katan?s heart to see if I could, and something?strange happened to me. I can?t explain it exactly for what it felt like, but? I turned into a sword for him. I?ve thought my weapon form was broken since I?ve been?re-alive, but I guess not? Still, you?re only supposed to transform for your handler? I don?t know what this means, but I?m not sure I like it? Katan is an amazing friend, and I love working with him? Could I be in battle with him? Could we deal with the evils that come with such a bond?... It scares me? Thinking of him dying. I don?t know, I can?t handle when people die around me?
Oh! The anniversary of when Val and I met is coming up! Well, it?s a couple months away, but I?m excited! I already got his present. I?m not gonna write it in here because he might snoop?but I?ll say it after I give it to him. Take that, Val! Ha!...I lost the color changing pen...
Anyways, I?ll try to write more when I can!