She was awake, I knew it as I kissed her in the dark. Her eyes were closed, a mercy perhaps for me and for her. Goodbye is hard for me, she knows that, so we pretend. It's not a game, not from my point of view. Necessity makes it so, because if her eyes open for just an instant I'll never leave. I don't want to, but I must. If I'd have known it would be the last time... if I'd known... why didn't I know?
The past can be clung to. I've done it often enough, but maybe I shouldn't. No one ever tells me the rules. Looking around I see the city-scape. My city with its towering skyline looming over me. It's like a tomb now, an endless graveyard of people who walk the streets not knowing they are all dead. Dead to me at least, somewhere from then to now I stopped caring again. This is my curse, because when I care it overwhelms all things. It drains the blood from me leaving a dry husk, leaving the real me behind. I am barely more than the dirt that created me. I am that, I am less... I am alone. It's good to be alone.