[size=18]nosce te ipsum, temet nosce (thine own self, know)[/size]
These are the words that haunt me my love. To know myself is to know chaos. How does one truly know chaos? I know many things, I know that the decisions I make today can be changed tomorrow in a similar situation. I know that I decide things always based on emotions and feelings. I know that a man run by such things can never really know his self. Give me a situation and hold back no names, then I can assess my own decisions.
If I know no one involved, then the only thing I know is that a decision will come quickly. It will be just as much a surprise me as to those involved. I don't claim logic as a basis for deciding, let those with minds for cold facts and order keep logic. Passion will run my life, now as it always has. Chaos, I choose not to call it such, I will stay with the word passion. I wonder sometimes if the logical love. What kind of love is it? Are they able to do what I cannot and step away from that love just because it makes sense to?
I can't be this way, I can't run on what makes sense. If that is logic, then logic lies. It makes sense that a child goes hungry, but only if we look at the reasons behind it. In my mind a hungry child makes no sense. There should be no reason that it occurs. So damn a world of logic, and damn feeling nothing. Know myself? I know myself enough to know that I will fight where I should give up. I will die where I could live...and I will love where I am alone.
Where does that leave one chaotic no..., one passionate smith? Where does it leave he who makes and unmakes? It leaves me in that passion, the kind that leaves my lips tingling and my fingers gripping anything that can be held. The passion that builds and pours out in silent sweaty cries. The same that strikes without warning and gives no quarter in order to protect. Know myself... I am the light when it is darkest, the shadow that will hide you from that same light. I am the warrior who blocks the path, and the knife in the dark. My love, I am all things as needed, though I have forsaken all divine virtue. Virtue is for men who believe that it is all right to grieve. I do not, if life must be taken from you, there will be no grieving from me. I will be on the other side already, waiting for you.
Know myself? I am the Maker, the Unmaker. I am the saint of chaos and the sinner of order. Know myself? I am the lover, and I am the leaver. I am the seven deadly sins, the foresaker of god's virtues. I am he who mourns for those that live, until we are reunited. To any who would wish harm to those in my world... My love, to them I am a monster, I am the beast, I am the reckoning.