Author Topic: Letters to the Columns  (Read 1663 times)

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
Letters to the Columns
« on: November 18, 2009, 03:22:09 PM »
[[All letters and replies are public and are found on the latest issues of the RhyDin Post. Please PM Darien Fenner with the letters, and I will post them ASAP.

Edit: Submitted letters may now be addressed to any member of the Post staff (not just the Gossip Column), and regard just about any subject.]]
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
November 18th
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2009, 03:31:31 PM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Dear Mr. Bane,
I?ve been dating a girl for a few months now, and I like to think we?re pretty serious. I also hang out in the inn a lot, and a lot of the female regulars there are good friends of mine. Lately though, my girl has been getting really snippety and passive aggressive whenever I talk to those women, even if it?s just friendly conversation! I?ve tried talking to her about it to let her know I am concerned, but she just pretends she doesn?t know what I?m talking about, and I?m sick of it. What should I do?

~Soon to be Single RhyDinian


Dear Soon to be Single:

It sounds to me like your girl has serious jealousy issues. The fact that you made an effort to share your concern shows me you?re an upstanding guy, and the fact that she completely ignored it shows me that she might be a little emotionally closed-off. Then again, it might just be that she?s insecure and is too shy to talk to you about it. Try laying out your concerns again for her (be very specific), and assure her that she?s the only one you feel connected to. If her behavior persists after that, I would say recommend her to a therapist? or find yourself another girl.
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
November 18th
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2009, 03:34:50 PM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Editor,
My current lover, the teenage girl that I brought back from the dead and possessed with three demons, is extraordinarily messy around the ritual room. I have tried various spells to make her more ... co-operative ... and none seem to have worked as well as I had hoped. I dare not risk exorcising any of the annoyingly willful demons at peril of the girl's body literally falling apart beyond easy repair.

What do you suggest? Do you know of any obedience potions that work well on the undead?

Sincerely,
At-Wit's-End in the Dockside District


Dear At Wit?s End:

First off, let me commend you for tolerating your girl through all her shortcomings! Messy roommates can be the worst. It sounds to me like she?s got a balance/hemisphere problem? or is just inconsiderate of your habits. I don?t usually recommend jumping right to chemical solutions, but Brett?s Magic Emporium over on Yester Alley actually has both an alchemist and an apothecary on staff. While you chat up your problem with the A.D., make sure to pick up Love Potion #6 to soothe the savage beast within that bundle of trouble! I know it seems like dealing with the split personalities and cleanup is more trouble than it?s worth for a fixer-upper, but keep it up, and chances are she?ll channel some of that wild and crazy energy into what you really like? or at least one third of it!
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
November 19th.
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2009, 11:41:49 PM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

To the ?It Man?,

Love your column! I?m a single woman here in RhyDin and am trying to find a good man. The first one I had my eye on was in the inn, but I found out a few days later he was taken. Then I saw another amazing one, but I found out he was taken. I?ve heard that they are not only both taken, but by the same woman! Not only that, but she?s engaged to the both of them and is flirting with other men! It?s despicable! How can you possibly love two, or even three men at once? And how the heck is someone with none at all supposed to find love in a world like that?

Sincerely,
Leave Some for Us!


Dear Leave Some for Us:

Sounds to me like you?re looking in the wrong places, or you have your eyes on the wrong kinds of guys! It also sounds to me like this boy-toy collector is a little freaky! I?m not going to lie-- I?m all for straying from the norm, so kudos to her for accumulating testosterone. She must be quite a catch in bed to warrant more than one male lover that actually knows about the other.

As for your predicament. Why don?t you take a step back for a minute and examine this from an unbiased perspective? The ones you wanted were taken, so you?re naturally a little ticked, right? I would be too. But rest assured, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Cast a wide net, and introduce yourself to lots of new people. You might just bait the one you really want in the process!
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
November 19th.
« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2009, 11:36:17 AM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Dear Mr. Bane,

My guy and I have been dating for the past six months, and we are utterly and hopelessly in love with each other. I adored everything about him? that was, until I met his mother. See, I?m half dragon, while he?s human, and I guess that doesn?t sit too well with her. She completely despises me, and makes my life a living hell every time I?m around her. To make matters worse, she calls her son way too frequently. So she not only harasses me in person, but over a long distance, too! We have been talking about marriage for a while now, but I just don?t think I can handle being in a family with her! What should I do?

Yours truly,
Monster-in-law Victim


Dear Monster-in-law Victim,

Ah, the age-old problem with the in-laws: A mother that is too attached to her son is unwilling to let him share a life with another woman; it happens more than you might think. It is unfortunate, but it happens.

I can understand your reluctance to take your guy?s name if it also means associating yourself with someone who hates your guts. But if the guy is still as desperately into you as you say he is, that shouldn?t matter. The key to dealing with her is moderation. Limit your exposure to his side of the family to holidays or special occasions, and when you do see her, don?t give her any ammunition to attack you. Keep all your replies incredibly polite, even if she is under your skin. And most importantly, no matter what happens, do not put your squeeze in the middle of it. That?s the kind of thing that will ruin a relationship.

If she insists on calling and harassing you when your guy?s not home, kindly insist that she call back when he is in. And whatever you do, do not show weakness. You may be polite and mature in your exchanges, but do not withdraw an opinion just because she bullies you-- eventually she might even respect you for it.

If she still continues to be a wicked witch in your presence, you may as well ignore her completely. It sounds to me like your guy will still love you, even if you don?t get along with his mother.

Good luck, and check out Waterglint Diamonds over on Thirteenth. They have amazing engagement rings? for all sizes!
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
November 19th.
« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2009, 10:07:35 PM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Emmet Bane:

I?m having a crisis! I?ve been dating my boyfriend for about three and a half months now, and keeping him constantly supplied with Brett?s Love Potion #1. Unfortunately, he?s been having adverse affects to it lately (squawking like a chicken in public, walking on his hands, saying all his words backwards, etc?) and I?m really worried! I can?t take him off of it until we?re married, and I can?t lower the dose because anything less than half a cup wears off too quickly. And before you say anything, let me assure you that we are very much in love! Well? he loves me; he just doesn?t know it yet. I want the opportunity to keep him and make him happy, but I can?t have him flapping his arms and running in circles every time we go into a restaurant! What should I do?

Sincerely,
Stuck In the Hen House


Dear Stuck in the Hen House:

I find it interesting that you use the word ?dating.? See, I have a masters in Journalism and a bachelor's in English Literature from Fordham University on Earth, and I actually would have used a different word: ?drugging.? Those potions are not meant for long-term usage, and by the side effects you are describing, it sounds to me like you?ve had him on it for a lot more than three and a half months.

I hate to break it to you, but a chemically, pheromone-induced stupor is not love. And from what you?ve said, it seems as though this guy isn?t exactly your biggest fan. There is a very fine line between infatuation and obsession, my dear, and you appear to have crossed it decades ago.

Why don?t you take a deep breath, wean him off of the tonic, and hope to whatever gods RhyDin has that he doesn?t call the cops? Because I can assure you that what you?re doing isn?t healthy? for either of you.

You deserve a guy who loves you for who you are. So go out there and find an interesting, borderline sociopath with a love of pharmaceuticals. I?m sure you guys will hit it off.
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
November 20th.
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2009, 05:44:38 PM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Dearest Emmet,

I LOVE YOU!!!! MARRY ME!!!

Love,
Your Biggest Fan


Dear Biggest Fan,

Have we met? You remind me a little bit of my stalker in college!

Let?s see. Take your pick from the following: It?s not you; it?s me. I?m not ready for a serious relationship right now. I?m focusing on my career. You?re too old for me. You?re too young for me. I love you; I?m just not in love with you.

? Or there?s the fact that you?re anonymously proposing. I?m flattered, though! Hugs and kisses, Biggest Fan! Hope you keep reading!
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
November 20th.
« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2009, 05:46:59 PM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Hey Emmet,

What is it with guys with wings in this town? A human can?t walk into the inn or arena and hit on a woman these days without having her ditch him for some tutti-fruity fairy boy or some angsty fallen angel wearing guyliner. Is it the androgynous thing? Should I consider getting some wings myself?

Signed,
Grounded and Grumpy


Dear Grounded and Grumpy:

Before you consider radical surgery, why don?t you take a closer look at your approach? If you?re ditched so easily, maybe you should up the charm a little bit. And if any guy-- be him winged or webbed-- tries to muscle in on your conversation, don?t back down! It exudes volumes of confidence if you stand your ground and continue to contribute to the conversation. Just make sure you don?t seem like you?re being a bully. Women hate that.

And don?t worry about the angsty guys who lurk in corners. Most women like to think that they are all deep and just need someone to heal them, but usually they just wind up being complete jerks that are just as shallow as everyone else.

Swallow your pride, and say hello to that gal you had your eye on. Show her that it doesn?t take extra appendages to be able to sweep her off her feet. Besides, you know what they say: The bigger the wings, the smaller the? yeah.
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
November 21st.
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2009, 10:42:48 PM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Dear ?It Man,?

I thought I was so close! I?m you?re average half-elf, and I finally thought I found the man of my dreams! He?s a totally dreamy lich who intimidates just about everyone, and I find it so incredibly exciting when people flee in terror from him. But I found it very suspicious when just the other day we were finishing up a great meal at a restaurant, and when the waiter brought us the bill, my man threatened to take his soul. Now I get that threats are part of his lifestyle, and I knew that coming into this relationship. What I am not okay with is my guy flaking out on a check! I refuse to date a cheapskate! What do you think I should do?

~ Angry at the Undead in WestEnd


Dear Angry at the Undead:

Wow. You?re the first I?ve heard to describe the undead as ?dreamy.? But hey, if that?s what works for you, I say go for it! From what you?ve described, it sounds to me like you?ve been dating him for a while, and this particular incident was a one-time occurrence. If that?s the case, I would cut him some slack just this one time. Maybe his soul reaping isn?t exactly paying the bills of late, but he still wants to take you out and show you he? uh? cares. But if this becomes a regular occurrence, I would suggest expressing concern or offering to pay next time (just to put the subject out there), and see what he says.

And while the cheapskate is a particularly irritating guy to date, why don?t you give him the benefit of the doubt first and give him a chance to redeem himself? Initiate a heartfelt conversation and vent your feelings to him? and uh? hope you don?t die.

Good luck with the reign of terror, my dear. All I?ve got to say is, even though he?s undead, I just hope his? parts? still work.
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
November 22nd.
« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2009, 09:58:48 PM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Dear Emmet,

So my gal and I have been dating for almost a year now, and recently we decided to move in together. We?re totally crazy about each other, and I guess we wanted to see if we were compatible. Now? my girl?s a lycan, which usually wasn?t much of a problem. You would think that a chick that runs with wolves would have the same living habits as a man, but the complete opposite is true! She has this horrible habit of making the apartment smell like flowers and putting frilly crap and doilies all over the place! But when I try talking to her and explaining to her that our home isn?t a dollhouse, she always loses it, transforms, and goes on a terror rampage. I can live with her temper. What I can?t live with is not being able to have my boys over for fear they?ll see what my apartment looks like! Help!

Sincerely,
Avoiding a Dog Fight


Dear Avoiding a Dog Fight:

Alright. First of all, let me address something that irked me a little bit-- your comment about ?compatibility.? Let me assure you that, in my experience, this idea is a complete myth. There is no seeing whether you are compatible with a living partner or not-- all that matters is whether you love them enough to put up with their shortcomings and irritating habits.

That aside, why is it do you think that she flips out every time you confront her on the housing d?cor? When do you begin conversations like this? Is it after a fight? Do you tend to ignore the environment up until the point you have to invite guests over, then panic and take it out on her? If you?ve been dating a lycan for over a year, you obviously have some insight as to their emotional instability!

Next time she suggests painting the walls lemon cream pie yellow, why don?t you sit her down and very calmly have a rational conversation with her about your living situation? But don?t jump right to demanding a masculine, Spartan lifestyle. What she likely wants to hear is a compromise. Find a happy medium between muted throw pillows and a mini-fridge next to the sofa.

Hope that helps! Congrats on landing yourself a lycan, though. I hear they?ve got great stamina.
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
November 23rd.
« Reply #10 on: November 23, 2009, 09:37:06 PM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Dear E,

Whoa, whoa, whoa! You know, when I first got to Rhydin they said something about ?the water,? but I really didn?t know what they meant until I saw it with my own eyes. What the heck, man? I swear there have been at least six instances I?ve seen in the past few months where a couple meets one week, gets married the week after, then gets pregnant the week after that! I swear, the women in this town must be ridiculously fertile. I used to think Rhydin was a good place to be a bachelor, but I?m paranoid that the instant I look at a woman she?ll start spawning kids! I AM TOO YOUNG TO BE A FATHER!

Sincerely,
What's in the Water?


Dear What?s in the Water:

I understand completely what you?re talking about! Did you also notice that the little ones always seem to come in twos? My theory is that the ones who so hastily reproduce are either incredibly unlucky or have commitment issues. Or? you know? they?re in love.

Now I?m all for true love, my friend. That?s what I?m here for! But I?ll agree with you that three weeks is a little scant a time to get to know someone well enough to commit to a life with them. That?s not even a full moon cycle! How do you know she isn?t some lycan psychopath who will gnaw on your face in your sleep? Come on, folks!

As to your personal problems: Rest assured, that although RhyDin has been seeming overrun with rugrats of late, parents tend to keep their kids well-supervised (Well? with the exception of a booming dragon population. From what I've seen, every time dragons get within six feet of each other, BAM! A litter of fifty!) -- if not, most businesses are actually equipped with great daycare programs. So your bachelor, clubbing ways are not likely to be influenced by the baby boom. If you want to avoid kids? Simple. Birth control! Something a huge portion of the RhyDin populace hasn?t heard of. Almost every magic superstore or pharmacy has an apothecary on staff who can point you towards natural and pharmaceutical methods. If you or your gal aren?t into that kind of thing, you probably ought to kiss your swinging ways goodbye, my friend? before you wind up with quadruplets.

That's all for now, folks. And remember to boil your water before you drink it!
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
November 24th.
« Reply #11 on: November 24, 2009, 12:12:06 PM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Dear Mr. Bane,

My girl and I are in a very serious relationship and are planning on getting married soon. I love her very much, but lately I?m afraid I?m becoming less attracted to her. She used to be a totally active dueler, and when we first met, she was a complete fox. But a few months ago she had a bad streak and gave up dueling entirely because she was so discouraged. I am sorry to say that her giving up dueling translates to her giving up exercise entirely, and so it?s made her a little? doughy. I look back and think about how much confidence she had when she was thin, and how much more alive our relationship was, and I miss that. What is a nice way to tell her that she needs to lose a few?

Yours truly,
Foot in Mouth


Dear Foot in Mouth:

Okay? yeah, good luck with that state of mind, my friend. I can think of any number of ways this scenario could backfire. What you?ve got to understand is that a fulfilling relationship should not be solely dependent on attraction. If you truly love her, you will be willing to accept her slump for what it is.

From what you?ve told me, though, it sounds like it wasn?t just her stellar dueling bod you were attracted to when she was active. Perhaps her losing streak led to a huge dip in confidence that she needs to earn back before she jumps right back in. I would recommend that the two of you hang around the dueling venues-- even if she?s not willing to duel just yet. Chat up some of the latest matches with daily competitors, and who knows? Maybe she?ll be inspired to give it another go.

The important thing here is not to focus on her losing weight, but on her getting active, or her gaining her confidence back. Very carefully express your concern about her energy level or daily activity, and suggest going for a walk together or spending some time outside. Hopefully one of these days she?ll snap out of the slump and kick the snot out of you for criticizing her figure (which will be a good thing? right?)

Hang in there, and remember to check out the challenges they?ve got going on at the dueling places. GO TEAM SIMON!
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
November 27th.
« Reply #12 on: November 28, 2009, 12:21:24 AM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Greetings Emmet,

There?s probably something to be said about going into the family business, but man this is ridiculous. When I graduated college, I wanted to go into orthodontics, but noooo. My dad was so intent on me picking up my godliness and saving the human race. That?s fine, though. I got into it. What I can?t get into are all these freaking damsels in distress. I understand that I?m a Greek god, and it?s part of my job description, but seriously. Women in Rhydin need to take a self-defense class. My relationship woe is that I?m being seriously turned off of women in general, and if they keep this up, I probably won?t ever reproduce. Your thoughts?

Signed,
A Heroic Tragedy


Dear Heroic Tragedy:

It sounds to me like your irritation isn?t just stemming from the ladyfolk, but from your resentment with your present situation too. You?re stuck with a job you didn?t exactly want in the first place, so naturally you?re going to be a little bitter about it, right? Although I can?t blame you. The thought of saving whining feminine flowers all day every day from fire-breathing dragons would certainly have me wanting to fake my own death, if only for a little relief. Maybe you should look at the heroic duties as more a day at the office kind of thing, and less as a foothold for your personal life? Separate work from play-- go out for a few drinks after chopping off Hydra?s heads for a weekend, and meet a charming, sexy, competent woman who knows her way around a spear (pun slightly intended; I?m feeling saucy.) Or find a guy, if you?re into that sort of thing. Or satyr. You can find love just about anywhere these days.

As for your pop, I?d say that if you can?t stand working in your field, give him a piece of your mind. Stick a lightning bolt up his? gluteus maximus? or whatever it is you gods do. And most importantly, do what makes you happy!

Hang in there, brother!
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
December 3rd.
« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2009, 09:14:22 PM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Hiya, Emmet!

Maybe you can give me some insight into the male psyche. I can?t figure this guy out; he?s sending me all these mixed messages! We met about a month ago at Stars End and seriously hit it off. I guess it helped that I was looking fabulous, and he was so interested in me we hooked up later that night at his place. When he didn?t call me the next day, I made sure to send a fruit basket to let him know I was thinking about him. A few days passed, and when he still didn?t call, I made friends with his super and helped myself into his apartment to put my phone number onto his speed dial. You know? just in case he lost it! It was really weird, though, because the next day the key I had his super make for me didn?t work in his locks! Should I swing by his work and check with him there?

~Mixed Signal Interference


Dear Mixed Signal Interference:

I hate to break it to you, honey, but it sounds to me like this guy is sending pretty strong ?leave me alone? vibes. The fact that he didn?t call you even after you committed breaking and entering should be all the insight you need into his psyche. If he wanted anything more than a one night stand, he would have put out the effort to contact you. Then again, he might have been put off by? a fruit basket? You seriously sent him a fruit basket? What crazy relationship columns have you been reading? Certainly not mine!

All stalking aside, it seems like you?re the one sending out the wrong signals. The fact that you mentioned how fabulous you look makes me suspicious of just what you consider ?fabulous.? And the fact that you were so ready to go home with him after one night in the bar makes me a little skeptical of your dating habits. If you want a long-term boyfriend, find one that doesn?t require you to put out on the first date. You manipulated your way into his home (even if it was illegally)-- you?ve obviously got some smarts. Use your brains, toots. No one is going to want to buy the ice cream truck if you?re handing out popsicles for free!

And for the record, fruit baskets are what you send to your boss on his birthday. If you want a guy to call you back, why don?t you send him a pair of jousting tickets or invite him to a dueling tournament? Or better yet, the Draconic Games are in town! Heavy-duty bloodshed on flying, fire-breathing beasts is fun that the whole family can enjoy!

Until then, put on a sweater, and quit rifling through the man?s wallet!
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]

Darien Fenner

  • Moderator
  • Ancient Wyrm
  • *
  • Posts: 875
    • View Profile
December 7th.
« Reply #14 on: December 08, 2009, 01:52:46 AM »
Help! RhyDin Relationships are Driving Me Nuts!


[size=9]Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane[/size]

Dear Mr. Bane,
I?ve been married with my guy for about nine years, so I?m no stranger to arguments within relationships. Lately, though, we?ve been having a really weird one. See? I want a pet. I?m lonely, and I want something to dote on and spoil. My husband and I have been together for a long time, so we?re not exactly tearing each other?s clothes off anymore.  So lately I?ve been looking into miniature dragons - Chinese Waterwalkers are super-low maintenance and don?t grow to be any more than three feet long or so. But every time I bring it up, he gets all defensive and says no, and if I argue, I?m turning it into a relationship thing and making it bigger than I should. So generally, I keep my mouth shut, since it?s like talking to a brick wall after that. I get that he works, and I am totally willing to make sacrifices in the bedroom for his job. Why can?t he make this sacrifice for me? It?s just a DRAGON!

Sincerely,
Pre-Pet Accident


Dear Pre-Pet Accident:
Your letter really calls out to me! I think it?s partly because I?ve been having pet-cravings, too. I need something to greet me and be happy when I get home and not go belly-up if I feed it too much (stupid goldfish.) But a dragon? We certainly jumped the gun there, didn?t we? Since when are dragons affectionate and pamper-worthy? Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned dogs? Ah well. This is RhyDin, so I guess if that floats your boat, go for it.

What concerns me isn?t the fact that you want a pet, or that you two are arguing about it. What concerns me is why you want it. You said you?re lonely, and you are making sacrifices in the relationship for your guy?s work. Do you honestly think that getting some reptilian hatchling will improve that part of your relationship? It most certainly will not! And I hate the fact that you?re using his work as some crummy rationalization for why things in the bedroom aren?t great anymore. Nine years is too early to give up on your sex life! You are a young, hot thing with damn sexy potential!

It sounds to me like the problem is with your guy. He can?t expect to win every argument just by scaring you into submission. My dear, as you said, relationships are rife with problems and arguments. In arguments, there is an exchange of ideas. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. But the most important thing is that in a mutual relationship, everybody deserves a vote. Don?t back down just because you?re afraid it?ll make for some temporary fuss between you. If an argument over a pet dragon is all it takes for a nine-year marriage to come crashing to the ground, then I am sorry to say maybe the foundation upon which that marriage is built needs to be reexamined.

Just because your guy?s got a hard job, that doesn?t give him a right to take intimacy out of a relationship. Make sure he knows that you have every right to speak freely, and that you are feeling lonely in the relationship. Maybe he?ll surprise you and turn his act around. If not? Well? I?d start with something a little smaller. Maybe a pigeon. Then work your way up.
[img:56a64444ff]http://i.imgur.com/p4b4I.gif[/img:56a64444ff]