End of Another Day - June 28, 1996

[Panther]

Stepping from the Hall to the Inn, dusting the dirt and grit from the fur on his arms, he pauses to look back into the Great Hall for a moment. He'd been spending a lot of time cleaning up the Hall, getting it ready for the re-opening.

The Nexus was proving to.. unstable.. to keep his hosts there all the time, so with a bit of touching up, they would move to the Great Hall starting in a couple days. There wasn't much to be done.. mostly cleaning up the bar, running new tap lines, expanding the selection in the bar, setting up the buffet area, things like that. It kept him busy.

Turning back to the Inn, he moves past the tables to the staircase leading up to the rooms, almost absently slipping into human form as he did. The shifting was becoming less painful again, but he still couldn't stay in human form for too long without the spasms returning. Such episodes often had him wondering if he even was, or if he was merely a cat, playing at being human. He tried not to dwell on such things too much though... they usually gave him a headache.

Stepping into his room and latching the door, he stripped of his leggings and moved to the side room where the tub was. He was never sure how the tub was able to always be full of fresh, warm water, but as he stepped into it, letting the heat work loose the days tension, he didn't care.

As he sunk into the water, laying back against the tub, his head resting on the edge, his eyes closed and his mind began to wander

[Panther]

[size=18]Images[/size]
1996-JUN-28

Somewhere in that area... that grayness between sleep and wake... he started seeming images. At first it was just colors, swirling, mingling, with no real form. Then shapes. Trees, rocks, a lake?

The trees of aspen, the soft grass, the night sounds. This was not just a lake, this was the lake. This was the place where his life took a turn, a turn for the wonderful. The place they shared, where they first made love. A place he'd not been back to since she had disappeared. The peacefulness of it all soon gave way to feelings of uneasiness, sorrow. Just as he had done with so many of the things they shared, he had fought to keep this place from his conscious mind because of the pains it brought with it.

In doing so.. he was also able to keep these thoughts from his unconscious mind as well, but here.. something was different. He could feel himself standing at the waters edge, gazing over the still surface, almost as if searching for something, yet not really seeing anything.

The sound of a breaking twig kicked in his reflexes, and he spun about, ears twitching, nostrils flaring, eyes searching. Nothing. It was nothing. Then he heard another sound... off to the side... a laugh... a fey laugh. Facing the direction from which the sound came.. his eyes searched the darkness for a glimpse of the source. His ears strained to pick up any further sounds.

After a few moments that seemed to stretch into eternity, he saw movement... shadows shifting ever so slightly... slowly taking form... Then he heard the voice... almost sweet and musical in it's tone... "Taziar, love..."

He "wakes" with a start, splashing water out of the tub, his hands gripping the edges. Forcing himself to blink a few times before becoming aware that he was fully conscious again. Slowly rising, he steps out of the tub, not even bothering to grab a towel as he steps back to the main room, towards the window. Pausing near the window he stands, staring into the darkness and the forest bordering the Inn. No motion, no sound, barely even daring to breath. After what could be moments, or hours, he couldn't say which, a single word, spoken softly, barely a whisper, escapes his lips.

"Mika..."

[Panther]

[size=18]Restless Nights[/size]
1996-JUL-01

Rolling off the bed, tossing the covers aside he paces his room a bit. He'd been tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, unable to get comfortable, unable to sleep. It has been like this for the last couple days now, he'd barely had a few hours of sleep.

The pacing didn't help, he soon felt like a caged animal. With a couple of quick steps he leapt out the window, grasping the overhang of the roof. With a flip and a twist he lands in a crouch on the roof over his room.

The full moon cast a soft glow over the forest that ran along side the rooms, the light breeze playing through his hair, as he stay crouched there, gazing at nothing in particular.

His thoughts soon drifted, to the same thoughts that had kept him awake the last few nights. Thoughts of Mika. For so long now he'd been able to keep these thoughts locked away... locked in a place that didn't hurt him as they did now. He had felt a lot of pain over the years.. but none of it compared to this cold, lonely, empty pain he now felt.

Why now? Why were these thoughts pushing to the surface again? He had forced them away just so he could go on.. make it through each day. But these last couple days were now a blur. The lack of sleep, the memories and images pushing into his mind. Was he finally losing it?