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Messages - Rose Black

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Chase the Morning / Re: Behind the Curtain - An OOC Thread
« on: March 03, 2020, 09:32:51 AM »
Omg I'm alive and so happy to find this place still going and YOU! You are amazing to keep this place running so long! So many others have fallen but you still stand. Good to see you Shilo!  :)

Chase the Morning / Re: Behind the Curtain - An OOC Thread
« on: October 29, 2016, 12:08:35 PM »
Think I have some! Been crazy but so nice to see you too! Much less lonely here with two... And someone once told me, if you build it, they will come... maybe together we pull it off :lol:  

See, now we have coerced GR out too! And a little birdie whispered in my ear there will be another post later too!  ;-)

And all the people rejoiced!

Chase the Morning / Let's have a little fun...
« on: October 10, 2016, 09:35:13 PM »
"Come, come one, come all,
You must be this tall
To ride this ride at the carnival"

Melanie Martinez - Carousel

Chase the Morning / Re: Behind the Curtain - An OOC Thread
« on: October 07, 2016, 05:45:58 PM »
You're awesome Shilo... I got a freaky fun one for the music thread that'll be a break in the monotony... need to get moving and I thought, maybe if I just start playing with myself....

Take care sweetie  ;-)

Chase the Morning / You wouldn't believe the things they do...
« on: July 18, 2015, 07:21:39 PM »
The following dream was challenging to write but I'm loving the video I happened upon for it.  Although it ought to have been posted it has not yet so this is sort of a teaser.. I've found some things just should not be and there are reasons for all those warnings. Heed them or not as you choose but do not make the mistake of thinking you can ever go back.

Beyond the Black Rainbow - Down in the Park

Chase the Morning / Awake
« on: March 15, 2015, 01:09:34 AM »
Beyond our darkest of dreams and inspiring the most terrifying of trips lay realites, Outside and far past imagining.  Beware, lest you find yourself chasing shadows best left unknown to you and you to them.  Captivated?  Vanity, scattered truths, shattered foundations and you too become but another piece lost in translation....  That irresistible mystery you sought to understand proved to be unraveling you.  Did you think it would be the other way around?

System of a Down - Spiders


The piercing radiant moon,
The storming of poor June,
All the life running through her hair,
Approaching guiding light,
Our shallow years in fright,
Dreams are made winding through my head,
Through my head,
Before you know,
Your lives are open wide,
The V-chip gives them sight,
All the life running through her hair,
The spiders all in tune,
The evening of the moon,
Dreams are made winding through my head,
Through my head,
Before you know,
Through my head,
Before you know,
Before you know I will be waiting all awake,
Dreams are made winding through her hair,
Dreams are made winding through her hair...

Chase the Morning / Re: Behind the Curtain - An OOC Thread
« on: March 15, 2015, 12:48:19 AM »
"Before you know I will be waiting all awake."

Missing everyone too... y'all need to play more.  In the mean time, I have a song I would like to share.  Not new but definitely lovely.

Chase the Morning / Know your dope fiend!
« on: February 24, 2015, 06:20:31 PM »
Here's a little Fear and Loathing put to some Velvet Acid Christ I found poking around.  Enjoy.

Velvet Acid Christ - Fun With Drugs

Hunter S. Thompson: Oh God...Did you eat all this acid?

Dr. Gonzo: That's right...MUSIC!

"This is not a good town for psychedelic drugs...
Extremely menacing vibrations were all around us."

"I Think this place is getting to me.
I think I'm getting the Fear."

"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls."

Sick distorted colors that stab into your skin
The fluctuating light that comes from within
Acid on the tongue goes straight through your brain
Falling on the floor as you wince in pain

"Total loss of all basic motor skills
Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue
The mind recoils in horror,
Unable to communicate with the spinal column
Which is interesting because you can actually watch
Yourself behaving in this terrible way."

Trying to escape, but there's nowhere left to run to
I see you fall again on your face
Never mind this horrid disgrace
I see you, I feel you, I know you, I own you
I see you, I feel you, I know you, I own you

"The acid had shifted gears on him; the next phase would probably be one of those hellishly intense introspection nightmares. Four hours or so of catatonic despair."

"I decided to eat only half of the acid at first, but I spilled the rest on the sleeve of my red woollen shirt."

I see your skin is falling off your face
And fall onto the floor
Time drips away from the world
And the time that you spent is an underworld
I cannot see, but I know you're sick
And I do not mind that you try
Anticipate about the world inside
And take some more and fry your mind

"And a vioce was screaming: Holy Jesus!  What are these God damn animals?"

Sick distorted colors that stab into your skin

"five sheets of high-powered blotter acid..."

The fluctuating light that comes from within
Acid on the tongue goes straight through your brain
Falling on the floor as you wince in pain
I see you, I feel you, I know you, I own you
I see you, I feel you, I know you, I own you

In your mind
In your place
In your sickness
In disgrace
In your mind
In your face
I know you never wanted this

"One of the things you learn after years of dealing with drug people, is that you can turn your back on a person. But never turn your back on a drug... Especially when it's waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye."

Chase the Morning / Cool blue reason empties on the page...
« on: February 14, 2015, 01:24:33 PM »
One owed to Zydrate...  To those brief, albeit glorious, moments we shared in stillness.  Amidst the churning turbulent force that perhaps simply is me... in the center... the eye of the storm... we watched it all and felt nothing...

Cake - Cool Blue Reason

"Cool Blue Reason"

Cool blue reason empties on the page
Your colleagues are in prison and your enemies enraged
Cool blue reason comes into your world
There's two more dead in Texas and it's probably your girls
Cool blue reason wraps around your throat
The minutes change like seasons
Only 8 more hours to go

Cool blue reason comes into your life
There's one more dead in Kansas and it's probably your wife
Cool blue reason I'm just talking to myself
Cool blue reason I'm just rearranging hell
I'm just talking to myself

Cool blue reason wraps around your throat
The minutes change likes seasons
Only 8 more hours to go
Only 8 more hours to go
Only 8 more hours... left to go...

Chase the Morning / love comes with such a cost
« on: February 12, 2015, 03:12:27 PM »
Now I know that there's a different way to die
My body breathes
Heart still beats
But I am not alive...

Follow me down to the river
Drink while the water is clean
Follow me down to the river tonight
I'll be down here on my knees...

Pretty Reckless - Follow Me Down

Chase the Morning / Side effects may vary...
« on: February 01, 2015, 01:35:59 PM »
You asked for it.

In your Hate - I have found God
In your Sin - I have found Love
In your Faith - I have found Forgiveness

In This Moment - Whore


I'm the girl you've been thinking about
The one thing you can't live without
I'm the girl you've been waiting for
I'll have you down on your knees
I'll have you begging for more

You probably thought I wouldn't get this far
You thought I'd end up in the back of a car
You probably thought that I'd never escape
I'd be a rat in a cage, I'd be a slave to this place
You don't know how hard I fought to survive,
Waking up alone when I was left to die
You don't know about this life I've lived,
All these roads I've walked
All these tears I've bled...

So how can this be?
You're praying to me
There's a look in your eyes,
I know just what that means
I can be, I can be your everything

I can be your whore!
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
I am your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

I'm the one that you need and fear
Now that you're hooked, it's all becoming clear
That all your judgments that you placed on me
Was a reflection of discovery
So maybe next time when you cast your stones
From the shadows of the dark unknown
You will crawl up from your hiding place
Take a look in the mirror
See the truth in your face

So how can this be?
You're praying to me
There's a look in your eyes,
I know just what that means
I can be, I can be your everything

I can be your whore!
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
I am your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
I am your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me, you want me, you need me!

I can be your whore!
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
I am your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

I can be your whore!
I can be your whore!
I can be your whore!
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

You love me for everything you hate me for

That's a tough act to follow... But I do love challenges.  Music tells a story.  Let us start at the beginning with the Queen of the Clouds, shall we?

"Spend my days locked in a haze
Trying to forget you babe
I fall back down
Gotta stay high all my life
To forget I'm missing you..."

Tove Lo - Habits

Through music and dreams we find communication and empathy.  I thought at this point, having lost her family, Rose had hit rock bottom or pretty near.  But how deep that rabbit hole would go, I knew not.  I thought to bring some insights...  But where we went is not where I expected.  Perhaps going back over the tale musically will help me figure out how this happened?

This is the beginning and as I try to make sense of it all...  appropriate perhaps to point out the nightmare thread.  The first one coincides, definitely not coincidence, with this song.   The melodies these days are very... different.  For those who find this scenario too ordinary I can only laugh and say - enjoy the sanity while there is still some semblance left.  

The Worst Kind of Dreams

Chase the Morning / Bad Company
« on: December 30, 2014, 07:23:24 PM »
Rose was in a bad way, not just because it had been a long time since her last fix either.  There had been a shock that had sent her out of control.  She?d been injured and her mind was seeking the peace it knew was so very nearby.  It had known it at the hands of someone we all have come to know and love but who we haven?t seen in a while.

Now for a girl trying to get clean from the most addictive substance across many worlds this could be seen as a stroke of luck that he?d been MIA.  But in her unconscious state, in the desperation her need drove her to find him.  Like her trusted drug dealer, Rose was drifting on the edge of life and death.  Her body was still somewhere on the mountain but her mind traveled.  

GraveRobber smirks then leans against the wall.  ?Well my sexy fiendish friend? apparently you know where to find me should you ever need an escape?

In her dreams she found him, in an imagined alley way that so resembled his usual haunts it could almost be real.  There was no sign of the injuries they had sustained in the real world to either of them here.  Just the two of them, him in his usual grungy assortment as he leaned casually.  He greeted her pleasantly enough despite his sarcastic grin and their typical banter, always working this one.  Of course, now that back and forth included Rose's proud assertions that she'd kicked his drug.

She stares at a brilliant vial he pulled from his bag casually, as if by chance in the effort of obtaining a cigarette, promptly transfixed like a cat watching someone play with a string?  Despite her proclamation that she'd been sober for some time, all her initial bravado vanished?  It was so close so? right there?  Hypnotic the way it glowed and it had this way of taking the front and center of her attention.  Its light the blue heaven calling to her through the darkness.

?Makes you think?  What would it hurt?  In fact, I?d be making the hurt go away...  Don?t I deserve even a moment..??  A sigh and she moaned, longing to reach out, fingers clenching tight at her sides.  She commanded them to be still but the inner battle raged as unbidden thoughts tried to intrude on her dream.  Hadn?t the world been better off with her safely sedated at any rate?  But whether this was true or not she could only guess ? it was the minds amazing ability to rationalize that would turn this into an excuse to do exactly what it wanted to do.

He watches her and smiles, lights his cigarette and spins the blue vial around his hand, holds it up to the twilight and enveloping it in smoke as he speaks, ?Hell, I don?t blame them really.  Who doesn?t want to be at total peace??  His voice drifting as he reflects, ?No pain, no troubles, just the silky smooth blue ecstasy of peace?  Nope, can?t blame them one bit.?

Rose?s eyes cleared from the trance as she struggled to keep them on him instead of the beautiful vial that was so? distracting.  ?I?m good?  I told you? that I am??  But her voice was soft as it trailed off and far less confident than before as she quickly fell into the lull of memories so dreamy while gazing into his eyes.  She wanted to wake but the chills and the fire and the TRUTH were there.  Relief was here? right here.

The quiver moved through her small frame as a jolt bled over into the dream world? emphasizing her compulsion? the one that had taken her to something she knew could make it better? a pitiful sigh escapes her lips.  ?There is no reprieve for long.  Not without that damn drug??  Her eyes moved to it ?one last time? even though she hated herself for not tearing away from this dream as she should have the moment she realized where her subconscious had led her.  ?Cool blue reason??

How could it be that even remembering a pain free moment could make it seem so much worse?  She?d been fine with that pain through many trials already, had she not?  But now as the fire scorched her from the inside out, worse still - the guilt and self loathing of all those things she was facing but presently was desperate not to think about? so hard not to jump at relief.  Just one shot away.

GraveRobber just stays there, leaning against that damn wall, watching her.  A knowing smile adorned his lips? as he watched and waited? ever turning the electric blue vial in his hand he slowly dragged his cigarette, savoring ever inhale.

Rose had clung with everything she had to that burning stake and she could chain herself there but if she really wanted it? she?d be there in the next heart beat.  Emerald eyes shifted back to him curiously as she asked, ?Does it ever get better?  When you?ve been on it a while like this..??  He must have seen it before.

A flash of remorse might have passed his face, but it was quickly replaced by a slight scowl and a swig from that bottle, he then offered her a taste.  ?You tell me Red, most don?t survive that long?  Your type,? pointing a finger towards her, ?whatever the **** you are? is new to me.  But, whatever makes you what you are,? he takes that finger, and unceremoniously pushes her hair back off her collar, ?sexy as that may be? you?re still flesh and bone.  And the flesh never?? he pauses for effect ?ever? stops? wanting.?

((Thank you to GraveRobber for the IM scene used to create this dream sequence!
The thread I refer to on Mount Yasuo where Rose is physically present, can be found: here ))

Chase the Morning / Re: Behind the Curtain - An OOC Thread
« on: December 30, 2014, 07:20:00 PM »
So I'm posting the first part of the dream sequence...  I have to give thanks to GraveRobber here too because that was just spectacular.  I knew that first meeting would be hard but DAMN!  He is EVIL!

I mean, it's coming at Rose from all sides, as it seems to whenever people try to make positive changes in their lives...  But does he have to be so very good at his job?  LOL

Within the Barrier / These eyes won't see the same...
« on: December 03, 2014, 02:45:15 PM »
Brain fever drove her on as she focused on her goal through the fog.  In the outside world it seemed she had been working for a long time, even though inside time was different? it seemed far longer to the angel.  The withdrawal from the drug hadn?t given her a moment of peace.  She had expected it to get better but as each terrible minute turned into hours and then days passed and the pain lingered on? she had learned to embrace the suffering instead of waiting for it to go away.  The cold never left her and she couldn?t stop shaking even in the unbearable heat that burned despite the chill.  

The pain was only part of the battle now, on the edges of her vision floated shadows.  We all see them sometimes but these nasty little creatures threatened to fly at Rose at any moment. When they hit?  She?d suffer agony over the misery inflicted by the cruel memories that she wasn?t allowed to run from anymore.  The missing parts of herself, when they came, hit her like a million volts of electricity all at once.  Every nerve in her body felt like a frayed wire, and her punishment was just beginning.  She had used zydrate to help her to stave off these horrible memories and to, in fact, keep herself well shut off from the pieces of her own shattered soul.  She knew this was unavoidable if she wanted to get clean.

There was another one!  She jerked suddenly, looking up before it hit as if it might make some difference, but it came at her so fast it was a blur of blinding motion straight between the eyes.  A scream tore from the depths of her soul as another piece came together, so many memories? good and bad? and all of them hurt.  So many missing parts of her life that was left behind, she?d done so thorough a job of repressing these things, that she had to experience them all over again.  As if for the first time, but all at once, she couldn?t shut any of it out.  From head to her toe the electricity coursed through her in shock waves.

Joy and subsequent loss surged through her mind like a skipping record.  Her heart felt like it was being driven through her chest as she fell to her knees in shock, hands grabbing the sides of her head.  She kept telling herself that she would rather feel pain than nothing at all.  This was all part of it though, she had to be able to live with everything that had happened.  The sickness in her was proof that even she could be hurt by this drug.  But she could survive this, she just needed to stay determined in her course.

Unsure of how long she stayed on that floor being shocked repeatedly as these memories echoed in her heart.  She wept when she finally caught her breath.  Rising up to one knee, she moved to get back to it. She couldn?t quit now?

That was when it happened? a flash back that didn?t belong to her but had everything to do with her came out of the wood work.

This one came at her from the side taking her by complete surprise.  She felt her skin searing as she burnt herself in the fall this time, but it was nothing.  Nothing compared to what this new flash back brought.  The screams that came from her were due to events she was helpless to stop but was forced to be party to.  Twenty innocent girls being massacred back at headquarters by a monster who was out of control, fighting for survival in a black out brought on by horrific injuries.  Rose couldn?t think beyond the knowing she had caused this.  Those huge brown eyes staring at her in horror, the last moments of life spent in terror and blood?  It might as well have been her own hands that tore the girl to pieces, her own mouth that devoured their souls.

One by one she watched from behind Lillianna?s eyes as she killed them all.  It didn?t even heal her, but in the end it was enough to allow the monster to cease and find rest in the pool of fresh gore that brought some relief from the tortures of her own injures and the flash backs and nightmares she now endured because of it.  The beast was sleeping? but Rose was still raging and out of control.  

There was a body count building up behind her and why?  What had she done?  All she had thought was to limit the damage and now people were dying and the blood was on her.  Shrieks filled the air as she went wild, fire licking hungrily at her clothes in her disregard for where she was.  She felt her flesh tearing beneath her nails, her healing powers fighting against the constant damage being done by burns and self inflicted wounds spraying blood everywhere.  The blood on her hands ? she hadn?t meant to hurt herself ? it may as well have been their blood.  It wasn?t as if she realized at first what she was doing, ripping herself open to try to release these terrible things from inside of her.  

She could hurt herself all she wanted here, but the events she had set in motion couldn?t be stopped now, and no amount of blood could wash away what she?d done.  The suffering was nothing compared to what was happening to Lillianna and twenty young girls who would never have a chance to live.  She felt the loss and the guilt all the more acutely with her raw soul, with the heightened senses that interpreted a cool breeze as pain when she wasn?t injured, that was all her nerves could perceive in their current state.  Pain - had enough?

The weight of accountability (or was that blood loss?) caught up with her at last and she ran from the heat, she made it just outside the workshop and collapsed to the ground.  A steaming and half-naked unconscious heap, whimpering as her blood flowed out onto the soil.  It would slow.  Her hands lay limp now at her sides, her fingers twitching and her eyes closed.  But her mind fled from her body, from the terrible truth and sought the only relief it knew.

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