It seemed he wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. The presence of BB-D2 outside the ship was enough to point out that Mira was not where the little droid thought she should be. And indeed not - Mira was not in her bunk. She was perched on top of the Nemesis, a lamp on her brow, concentrating fiercely on repainting the ship's number clearly on the space-scarred metal-work.
Gav wasn't too surprised to find BB outside, and where BB went, Mira followed - or more accurately, the other way around. He wasn't too sure what either of them was doing outside at this time or night, and he wasn't sure she wanted to see him. It was obvious she'd been avoiding him, ever since the kiss that had almost but never happened. At the time, he'd thought that's what she'd wanted. He'd even thought that maybe she'd liked him, but if that was the case, then why had she decided to avoid him? Was it something her brother had said? Whatever it was, he needed to know because whether he was friends with Yana or not, if he wasn't welcome on board the Nemesis, there was really no point in staying.
"BB," he said, greeting the droid without his usual good-humored swagger. "What are you doing out here?" Which equated to "Where's Mira?"
The little droid seemed to understand what he was really asking, extending a random probe to point upwards, where he couldn't follow. [Friend-Mira is not sleeping. Friend-Mira needs to sleep.]
"Friend-Mira can hear every word you whistle, Beebs," Mira called down to them. Her voice sounded duller than before, tired and heartsick.
Gav wondered how long it would take before he became "Friend-Gav". Maybe never at this rate. "Yeah, well ... That makes two of us," Gav replied, sounding almost as disheartened as Mira. He supposed he'd gotten his hopes up a little too high. Well, if she was going to let him down, she might as well get it over with and end his agony sooner rather than later.
BB made a slightly rude noise in Mira's direction, rolling a little closer to Gav and lowering the volume on his audio circuits to compensate for his mistress' hearing. [Make friend-Mira stop hurting,] the little droid asked him hopefully. [Please?]
Gav crouched down as close to BB as he could, brows furrowed in confusion. "And just how am I supposed to do that?" he asked, lowering his voice to a whisper. It was clear Mira was upset about something, and that something clearly had something to do with her brother. Though Kalen had assured him it had nothing to do with him, Gav had his doubts.
[Make her smile,] BB suggested, the dome wobbling on his body as he conversed with his new friend. If Gav could make Mira smile again, then he was a friend. [She is not sad because of you. It is because of the past.]
The past? Gav's mind echoed, furrowing his brows. How was he supposed to help her with that? Should he tell her a joke? Tickle her? Try to kiss her again? Just what could he do or say to make Mira smile, when he was feeling his own pain so acutely? But then, this wasn't about him, was it? And if he could make Mira smile, then he might at least have made a friend. "I'm coming up there!" he warned, calling up to Mira.
"Ladder's against the port drape," she called back, reaching up to dim the lamp on her brow. It wasn't entirely necessary to have the lamp - the night wasn't as dark as it would have been outside the Spaceport - but she'd felt the need for it when she'd come out. Darkness had never been a friendly place for her.
"Yes, ma'am!" he called back, though she was a few years his junior. He didn't need to be told much more than that. He knew ships as well as she did and what made them tick. The workings of a woman's heart, now that was a different kind of mystery he hadn't managed to work out yet. He found the ladder and climbed to the top of the ship, careful not to ruin her paint job as he carefully made his way toward her. "You an insomniac or just like the quiet?" he asked, knowing it might be a combination of both.
Sitting back, Mira took the lamp off her head, extinguishing it completely, but she couldn't disguise her red-rimmed eyes, or her tear-stained face. It had been a very long few hours since she'd left Kalen. "Both, I guess," she answered Gav quietly. "Listening to my own head just got too much. Thought I'd do something instead of just lying there feeling crap." Her smile was definitely half-hearted, not much life in it at all. "I'm sorry I kind of abandoned you earlier, I ... I wasn't very good company."
He shrugged, as if it didn't matter, though it clearly did. "Even bad company is better than no company at all, Mira," he pointed out, though he understood her meaning. "I thought maybe it was me," he told her, holding nothing back. He was honest, almost to a fault. She had to at least give him that.
She shook her head. "No, it wasn't you," she promised him. "Really, it wasn't you. BB had ... had a message from my mom, our mom. I haven't seen her since I was seven, she died a year later. And suddenly she was right there, you know? I didn't even know Kalen was my full brother until today." She sighed, shifting about to lie on her back on the scarred hull, looking up at the star-speckled sky. "I don't know if it's better to know the truth, or to stay ignorant. I was happier not knowing."
He furrowed his brows further as he took this all in, perhaps taking a different perspective than she had or that she might even have realized yet. "What's it matter if he's your half brother or your full brother? He's still your brother." And that was a hell of a lot more than he or even Yana had, as far as family was concerned. "I've give my right arm for a brother or a sister, full, half, or anywhere in between."
"It's not that it matters, it's that I didn't know," Mira said quietly, addressing the stars above them. "He didn't know. Our parents kept us apart all that time, because of their choices, their trying to do the right thing, and ... I don't know. I'm just broken, I guess. I thought I'd cried all my tears for my parents, but tonight ... I can't seem to stop."
"The truth is always better, Mira, even if it hurts at first," he pointed out further, as he settled himself beside her, tucking his arms around his legs as he gazed up at the stars. "At least, you knew your parents. You know they loved you, or they wouldn't have gone to so much trouble to keep you safe. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it'll get easier in time, and you have a brother to help you through it." That's more than he'd ever had, though he wasn't going to say that. He didn't want to point out that she had more going for her than he did, knowing that wouldn't help her cope with the pain of her loss and only feel guilty for it. "There's nothing wrong with crying, you know. Better than keeping it all bottled up inside." Like her brother seemed to do.