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Messages - Emlen Slane

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1
Community Events / Re: Fright Night (2017) - Costumes and More
« on: October 27, 2017, 08:45:52 PM »
Emlen dressed up in his best suit, though he didn't seem to like wearing that much on his torso. He went as James Bond! Fake gun and all!


[size=9]Photo credit: Brett Novek.
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He also attempted to carve a pumpkin with his chainsaw hands. It...didn't work out well. He brought it anyways. He says it's art.

2
Community Events / Re: RhyDin Color Fun Run
« on: September 30, 2017, 01:46:36 AM »


[size=11]Considering he lived in his own small, privately-governed village, he was more than on board with Minoko?s lack of enthusiasm for that portion of the event. Running, however, was a morning activity for the couple and their dog. The competition seemed to help his morale at the whole thing, too. He lived for competing with his wife, and the little bets they?d made, mostly because she got so cute and pouty when she lost. Little did he know, he got the same damn way!

Emlen was talking a whole lot of smack even on the way there. He remained shirtless, and almost grumbled that he had to put on a shirt for the run. What was with that reaper and being shirtless, anyways? Still, he?d put it on and mumbled something about how Minoko?who seemed to be eating up his misery like it was ****in? pocky or some other Japanese snack?was going to pay. Oh, and she did. He paced himself throughout the entire ?race.? While Minoko avoided greens and yellows, he went for green and blue, and avoided the glitter and pixie dust like it was a personal attack. While Minoko pouted after his cheap burst of speed, he ate it up and kept his arm around his wife the entire time. It was half due to pride, and half due to the fact that he didn?t have to try anything new! Though he had it coming?was just a matter of time?
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[size=9]Done through collaboration with the lovely Minoko mun~[/size]

3
Community Events / Re: Renegade Regalia: Lunar New Year
« on: February 11, 2017, 11:45:24 PM »
Emlen had spent most of the day following Minoko wherever she wanted to go. There was a big part of him that was confused about the whole event, and he might haven even blew Minoko?s mind a bit when he asked why she was here in the first place being Japanese. Considering he called her Chinese for the first half of their entire relationship. He?s a good husband, he swears!

No, he couldn?t take the Lion?s dance very seriously at all, which is why he was completely relieved that she hadn?t expected that of him. It was during that dance that he spotted one of his sisters, (Speck) but didn?t call out to her since she seemed to be on a date with her very own, Jap-person.

Reluctantly, he ate some sweets, mumbled about how chicken was better. The highlight of the night for him was the fireworks. He liked explosions, okay? Not to mention that he got to sling his arm over her and relax some. Dragging himself around while a woman shopped was not ideal! Though he didn?t complain too much. Maybe due to the fact that he didn?t want to get punched in the head, or chained to a wall later.

[Ring, please!]

4


Emlen and Min decided to go as matching gladiators! And by, 'decided' I mean Min made the costume, and Em wore it like a good not-so-little boy.



Then he spent half the night carving this guy to make her happy.

5
Sweet Crusades / Sorry.
« on: December 23, 2015, 12:03:46 AM »
?Caia!? Clara called from inside the house, a warm look on those young features. She leaned outside the door and peered out at the young thing playing in the yard. ?Go get your brother! It?s time to wash up for dinner!?
 
The little girl, curly haired and with eyes as blue as the sky lit up. She nodded to her mother?s words, ?Okay, Mommy!? she yelled back, gathering the little stuffed bear in her arms. Then she was taking off towards the forest. She knew where Emlen was?where he always seemed to be. Through that forest, past the thick, overgrown brush. She squeezed past them, her tiny body fighting to get through it. ?Enlem!? that five-year-old tongue just couldn?t get his name right. ?Enlem is time for dinner!? she cried, looking to see the boy sitting out by the lake within the hidden clearing.

Emlen was close to being eleven years old, sitting out by himself at that lake. ?I know what time it is, Caia, just go away?? said the gloomy child, knees pulled up to his chest. His hair was a long mess nearly down to his bare shoulders as he took in a deep breath and let out an annoyed huff. Navy blue eyes trailed to the reflective surface of the water, and stuck there. Perhaps if he ignored the little girl long enough, she?d actually go away.

A pale hand went to Emlen?s tan shoulder. ?Enlem,? she said in a soft, shrill voice. ?What?sa matter? Did you fight with Nova again?? she asked, eyes wide as ever, too big for that face, even if she had kept slightly chubby cheeks.

?Shut up!? Emlen snapped and brushed her hand away. ?Why can?t you just leave me alone, Caia?!? he asked, before standing up and glowering down at her. ?You always have to be around! I wish you?d just go away!? he screamed, and then the moody child was running off into the forest.

?Wait! Enlem!? she shouted after him, the child almost completely disregarding the screaming. ?I love you!? she yelled out. She started after him, but a shadow seemed to climb in front of her stretching to engulf all the light in the little girl?s world. She stopped and turned, eyes widened, mouth dropped open and then a delayed scream rang out.

Emlen stopped in his tracks, ?Caia?? he whispered silently, and then turned back around, sprinting as fast as he could. ?Caia!? A hand moved out, chainsaw blades spinning wildly as he cut through the bushes with his bare hand and made it back. The clearing was empty, save for that little bear laying in the grass. ?Caia! Caia come back! I?m sorry!? Emlen said, grabbing the little animal and pulling it close. Eyes began to water as panic set in his chest, he looked around frantically before dropping the bear to his side. ?I?m sorry??

6
Sweet Crusades / Re:
« on: November 01, 2015, 04:33:00 AM »
Upon being trapped in the void for (what felt like) ten years, Emlen and Katan were exposed to a lot of television, and their bromance ignited. On one particular day, to cheer Motoko and Beck up, they rehearsed and preformed this song for them.. It was magical, and most of it fits their relationship.

Guy Love-- Scrubs.


Let's face the facts about me and you
A love unspecified
Though I'm proud to call you [caramel] bear
The crowd will always talk and stare

I feel exactly those feelings, too
And that's why I keep them inside!
'Cause this bear, can't bear the world's disdain
And sometime's it's easier to hide

Than explain our

Guy love! That's all it is!
Guy love! He's mine, I'm his
There's nothing gay about it in our eyes

You ask me about this thing we share

And he tenderly replies...

It's guy love, between two guys...

We're closer than the average man and wife

That's why our matching bracelets say [Em] and [Katan]

You know I'll stick by you for the rest of my life

You're the only man who's ever been inside of me!

Woah, I just took out his appendix...

There's no need to clarify

Oh no?

Just let it grow more and more each day!
It's like I married my best friend...

But in a totally manly way!

Let's go!
It's guy love! Don't compromise
The feeling of some other guy
Holding up your heart into the sky

I'll be there to care through all the lows

I'll be there to share the highs...uh!

It's guy love! Between two guys!

And when I say, "I love you, [Em]"
It's not what it implies.

It's guy love! Between two guys...

7
Sweet Crusades / Thievery from the void.
« on: September 01, 2015, 08:20:03 PM »
[size=10]   It had been the middle of the night, and Emlen had been lost to dreams on Minoko. A twitching figure moved into the room, how she?d gotten past Beck was beyond anyone. A glowing jar sat in her trembling grasp as her feet dragged a tense body over the floorboards. Thin, unhealthy gasps filled the air with sharp whistles as she moved to set the jar down on the nightstand. When the figure finally stepped into the moonlight, it revealed itself to be ever-changing.  Familiar and unfamiliar faces alike took over the body as the unstable shifter. A hand came out to drag over Emlen?s bare chest, and his eyes shot open.

   The immortal immediately met eyes with her, and he was frozen. ?Don?t scream, don?t move,? was hissed out at the immortal. ?Have to take it? Have to fix it?? The shifter whispered, and Emlen collapsed down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with deadened eyes.

   A dagger was pulled out from her cloak, and she traced it over his chest. A heartbeat was sought out, and a smile crept across shifting lips. ?Have to take it? Have to fix it? Sorry? Sorry!? The words frantically hissed out from her mouth.

   Swallowing hard and in a quiet voice, Emlen spoke, ?Why are you doing this?? What are you taking, Myles??

   The shifter twitched above him and ran a hand over his face. Her words sounded distorted, she spoke in barely a whisper; but the tone had been frantic. ?I?ve seen it! I can fix it? Have to take it? Have to fix it... I?ll?protect you??

   ?Myles you?re not making any sense? I thought you were done with th?

   Words were cut out as the dagger split his skin open. He closed his
mouth, obediently refusing to scream out. Gasps of air were taken in and hissed out as she began to carve into his chest. ?It hurts now. Yes, it hurts? I?ll fix it. I?ll fix it!? Myles assured him.  

   The procedure took all of ten minutes, and by the time it had been finished, Emlen was dead. Blood soaked the sheets, and dripped from her hand which held his barely beating heart. She dropped it gently into the waiting jar and sealed it up. ?I stole it? I?ll fix it? I stole it? I?ll fix it?? Clank! The sound of the dagger hitting the floor rang out loudly.

   Beck, like the guard dog she was, awake as ever, sat up from her position on the floor. She looked up at the ceiling and then was on the move.

   Myles twitched above the dead Emlen after collecting the jar in her arms. ?You?ll come back? You always come back? I?ll make you come back, because I fixed it. I stole it, but I fixed it. I stole your heart? I stole it! I stole it!? The girl?s hisses got louder and louder. ?Shh? Sleep for now. You?ll be back... You go away. You come back. I steal, I fix? Goodnight.? A kiss was pressed to his cheek.

   Beck shouldered her way into the door and it flew open at her will. The shifting shifter was gone, but not unheard. She pinched the tip of her glove and her eyes darted around the room. ?Emlen? Emlen! ****!? she shouted and moved over to him. Shaking him lightly before noticing the gaping hole within his chest. ?Oh?man?? There wasn?t much else to say to something like that. There wasn?t much else to do, but wait for him to wake, and collect his story.
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8
Sweet Crusades / Promises from the Void
« on: August 29, 2015, 06:25:49 PM »
[size=10]   Emlen?s eyes widened at the sight of her, he stood there frozen with a ridiculous amount of muddled emotions coursing through his body?the predominant feelings were that of anger and heartbreak. His knees wobbled like they might fall out from beneath himself, and then he did. His head smacked into the ground, causing little to no pain as his eyes rolled back. Thank goodness Katan hadn?t been there or he might not have lived down the fainting.

   When his eyes resurfaced moments later, she was still there, sitting at his side and running her fingers through his hair. ?N-n-novia?? Her name came out in a broken way that reminded him of Martyr, navy eyes still staring up with disbelief.

   ?It?s me, Emlen,? she whispered. ?I?m here, I?m right here.? Novia continued stroking his hair and staring down.

   ?I don?t understand?? The groggy immortal stated as he attempted to sit up and get away from her hand. The blood in his body still ran cold, and he fell back down. ?Why are you here?? he asked in a raspy voice like someone had taken all the air from his lungs; and they had.

   Novia smiled in a rare, gentle way and looked down at him. ?Solaris brought me back in this world,? the handler said softly, and stared down at him. ?He says we can be together as long as you stay here. All you have to do is stay, Emlen.?

   The immortal shook his head, ?No, no.  This isn?t real... You?re not real, Nova?? Emlen told her and again attempted to stand up, only to be slapped down by the rough palm of her hand.

   ?How dare you, Emlen?? she asked with that familiar fire in her eyes. ?I remember everything, I still love you. How can you dismissively tell me that I?m not real when I?m right here in front of your face? How??

   Emlen looked like he might cry, and then he smiled. ?Novia? Let?s entertain the idea that you?re not just one of his creations like everything else in this world. Do you think he brought you back for free? Do you really believe that? He was behind your death in the first place. Let?s say I wasn?t married already, which I am, by the way... We?d never get to be together, not really,? he shook his head. ?And I promise you, Novia? I?m going to make him pay for this, for everything he put us through?but I love my wife. I?ve moved on, you?ve been dead for a long time, Novia.?

   Staring down at him as if she of all people could see his soul, Novia swallowed hard. ?I know that I?m real, Emlen. I can feel it,? she whispered.

   ?Even if that?s true, Novia? Even if you?re in the flesh, and he did bring you back? It?s all just a sick plot to break me? This isn?t your village, Novia? Look around, and take it in. The only thing real about this village is Clara being dead. In the real world, Sava hasn?t won, my sisters aren?t evil, and Solaris isn?t some good charitable guy that would bring you back without benefiting from something.?

   ?I want to hit you again, Emlen? I don?t know why, but I want to hit you again,? she whispered.

   There was a smile on his end, ?Yeah, it sounds like it?s really you, Novia. And, I really hope it is?because if you are real, I promise with everything in me, I will get you back from Solaris, and you?ll live the life you deserved to have.?

   ?With you?? was quickly asked of him, her eyebrows raised up high and hopeful.

   A wince could not be helped, both eyes closed and one opened shortly after. ?I gave my heart to Minoko. You were gone, and I wasn?t. I love her, more than anything else in this world. I want to get back to her?the real Minoko.. But that doesn?t mean you don?t deserve a life?a lot more of one than you got.? Emlen went back to closing his eyes, waiting for the smack that he was absolutely sure was coming.

   Gentle fingers opted to run over his scalp once more, ?I understand, Emlen? I gave away my life for that exact reason?for you to have a life beyond what you would have had. It would be wrong of me to be mad at you for doing exactly as I wanted you to do, Emlen? I?m happy for you. It hurts, but I?m happy for you.?    

   Another easy smile came, and then the hurt and anger wiped it away. ?I hate you for doing that. I shouldn?t blame you, but I hate you for doing that to me.?

   ?I know, Emlen and I?

   ?No, Novia, you don?t know. When I became your weapon I made peace with the fact that someday I might have to die for you. I accepted it as my burden. It was your job to accept that, too?especially after we became intimate. You robbed me of that, and I am trying really hard to forgive it. I appreciate the life you gave me, but you had no right.?

   Novia cupped a hand over his mouth before he could get out another sentence. ?I don?t regret it, and you can?t make me regret it, stupid. I realized in that moment, I couldn?t live on without you. I knew that I wasn?t strong enough, and I knew that you were. I?m sorry that it hurt you, and I?m sorry for what it put you through; but I would have died regardless. We both know that. I would have gone after him, and I wouldn?t have stood a chance. It would have been a waste. If one of us could get vengeance, it was you.? Emlen closed his eyes, and a hot breath moved over her hand. She removed it and smiled, ?I have to go back now. If I turn out to be real, I know you?ll save me. For now, I?m not in any danger. Good-bye, Emlen.? The handler said with a smile and stood up, she took a few steps backwards, and turned to run through the forest.

   After about thirty seconds of sky-staring, realization hit him. ?Novia? Hey!? he scrambled up to unwilling legs and began to give chase. ?We can protect you! Novia! Don?t go back!? The man shouted aloud as he began running through the blackened night. There was no sign of the girl, but he continued to frantically run. He?d run all night if he had to.
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Sweet Crusades / Re: Requiem for the peace of mind-- *Graphic*
« on: July 13, 2014, 08:31:12 AM »
Blue eyes shot open, and he jumped up from the arm chair. His hands went to his neck, and he clawed at it for a moment, gasping for air and coughing. He turned around, to see the still, sunny room that he had been sitting in. He?d fallen asleep? The quickly-fading pain in his neck, had told him he?d dozed off sitting up. How long had he been out for? The phone that had hit the floor in his quick moving stir had been snatched up, and he looked at it with cloudy eyes, a soft low grunt escaping his scruff-dusted mouth. There was no fancy lock mechanism, no password?because he was loyal. Hell, even if he wasn?t? What was Minoko going to do? Read his texts?

The last message sent, was to Martyr. ?Yeah, ok. Talk to you later then. Love you,? was her response. He couldn't even fake a smile for that, so he instead, looked at the time he had sent his message. 3:17PM. Emlen?s eyes crept up the screen to that perfect little time-teller in the corner. It was 3:42PM? He?d been out for less than a half hour, and dreamed every bit of that. How was that even possible? Emlen rubbed at his eyes and sighed softly. Nothing was impossible here. ?Minoko?? he called out, but knew she wasn?t home. She was working, or b*tching to Phoenix about him, or eating koi with Phoenix. Who knew with that girl?

Emlen?s shirt was pulled over his head, and dropped to the floor. His pants were the next to go, leaving him moving toward the shower in those infamous heart-printed boxers. A shower would do him some good. It had to. Maybe he could build something. Maybe Martyr had managed to break something?? No, he?d fixed up the homes of nearly everyone he knew. There was simply nothing left to fix, except for the one thing he couldn't.

10
Sweet Crusades / Re: Requiem for the peace of mind-- *Graphic*
« on: July 13, 2014, 08:20:26 AM »
The door, which had crept closed behind him, had been pulled open. Max was standing there, looking up at him with furious, spinning eyes. There was blood on her cheek, and her hair clung to it, trying up  inside of the crystalized red venom. ?I told you,? she started. ?I told you they?re all dead. You need to leave now? You can?t go any further.?

Emlen moved past her, laying a hand on her shoulder. That?s when she screamed, and it had been less of a scream, and more of an ear-shattering force. He turned, and watched her, writhing in pain, squealing out, and falling to her knees as her body chipped away to dust. Wide eyes stared over her, the marble eyed doll stared up at him, and he took a step back, hitting the wall.  One more room?that?s all he had left to explore. His sister?s? That?s all.

Turning towards it?he watched the hallway stretch out like he was in some horror film. He pressed on, and after what seemed like decades, he reached the awful door. The knob was twisted, and yanked open. Immediately, his eyes found Martyr. Black veined and wide-eyed just like Phoenix was. Except she wasn?t dead yet?but he knew there was no hope. Blood stained teeth grinded together?and he felt as if he could hear them screeching against one another. The culprit was a jagged tear across her throat from a serrated blade. Blood was still flowing like the faucet that Orchid had died in, bubbling out of the open wound and rippling flesh within its wake. Her fingernails scraped against the floor, breaking off and becoming bleeding little nubs on her fingertips. Lips smacked together, blood spurting up from them, as she mouthed the word ?help? over, and over.

Emlen suddenly felt a presence behind him, and he turned. It was Minoko?a green eyed Minoko. He blinked, and she changed. Now before him, and a step closer, was Novia, with a gaping hole through her body, her innards spilling out onto the floor, as a smile crept across her expression. ?I did this,? she admitted.

He could feel his eyes burning and twitching, watering and hurting as he fought not to blink, as he avoided the inevitable. Then his eyelids kissed their bottom counterparts, and those blue eyes resurfaced. Now it was Myles, standing before him, another step closer to him. Her belly was clean of wounds, but her head was dirty with senseless murders and betrayal. ?For us,? she whispered in a hiss.

On the next blink, it was the faux Minoko once more. Emlen took in a breath and held it, for now she was right in front of him. ?I can?t stay in this world? So I?m taking you with me.? With that, shadows snapped around his neck and lifted him off the floor. His feet dangled, and he kicked. ?Don?t fight it, Emlen. This is how it?s supposed to be??

11
Sweet Crusades / Re: Requiem for the peace of mind-- *Graphic*
« on: July 13, 2014, 08:19:27 AM »
The house was a story waiting to tell itself?and he?d finished Phoenix?s chapter. As he turned back to the living room, he saw two little eyes peeking out from the table. Spinning violet irises stared up at him. They were not his sister?s, but his niece?s. Vice was nothing more than a doll in her arms. Not a baby, not a corpse, but a plastic-faced, clothed bodied object being clutched to the child?s chest. ?They?re all dead, you know?? Max mumbled from her hiding spot.  ?All dead.?

It had been like the house sucked the life and emotion from everyone that stepped foot in it. Emlen moved past her, and stepped into the hallway. The carpet felt soggy at his feet, and he looked down, watching the blood press up around his feet as he rolled from the tip of his toe to the ball of his heel. He continued for a moment, almost admiring the sickening flood of vital rising and sinking beneath his weight and mercy. Then, he moved on, stepping into Pilot?s room.

The smell of burnt flesh hit his nostrils, and he took a step back out, thankful for the metallic air that had filled the hallway. A deep breath was taken, and he peeked his head back in. There was blood splatter on small portion of the walls that weren?t scorched, and in the middle of the room, lay two piles of ash shaped like corpses. Emlen?s eyes rolled around the room and he turned his back on it soon after. Nothing he could do for the mystery corpses either? The door was shut behind him and he proceeded down the hallway.

It became clear to him, that the further he went into the house, the more lost his sanity became to him?and humanity had become a distant memory. Emlen moved to the bathroom, the sound of running water beckoning him. He stepped right into a puddle and stared at the water spilling over the tub?s edge. Orchid was in there, her arms freely moving with the motions of the stream-beaten water. Her hair was lashing out every which way, moving in front of those closed, pathetic eyes that sat on her innocent, childlike face. As he moved closer, he examined the two left over, and futile bubbles that seemed to cling on the insides of her nostrils. She was gone and it wasn?t the lack of fight in her that gave it away?but the blueness to her lips, toes and fingertips.

12
Sweet Crusades / Requiem for the peace of mind-- *Graphic*
« on: July 13, 2014, 08:18:16 AM »
((Something I wrote to get myself out of the writer's block funk. Lots of blood and gore.))

The air was like the last gulp of warm soda at the bottom of the can?thick, gritty, and diluted. Was this a dream? It couldn?t be? Emlen couldn?t remember the last time he?d gone to sleep. The last time he?d done more than just lay next to Minoko, providing body heat like an overrated furnace?eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. Of course, he?d close them and pretend to wake up the moment she stirred. Had he fooled her, though? The dark circles beneath his eyes were growing more predominant by what seemed like each passing hour of sleeplessness, worry, and pain. Not to mention the clumsiness?how many of their dishes had he broken by something as simple as a lost grip? She knew. She had to know?

On this day, Minoko was nowhere to be found. He?d gotten a strange series of calls and hang-ups from his sister. The spare key was pulled out of his pocket as he worked through the foggy air that seemed to fill the hallway. The key was turned into the lock, and he took one more look around. Had it always been so dark and eerie? Martyr?s home had always been a beacon of happiness, a place of comfort. So why was it not settling in his belly? How come everything felt wrong?

Emlen knew the answer to that. Nothing felt right anymore?

The door was pressed open, and he took a look around. Immediately, be it the coppery smell that plagued the place, or the bloodstains on the carpet, he knew something had gone horribly wrong in here. First, he moved to the kitchen. Phoenix was there, in some form. Wide eyes were staring up, but seeing nothing. She was gone. The blackness in her veins, lining her face, wrists, and neck told the story. She had been poisoned. Nothing was left of her, except for a cold corpse left on the floor with a knife plunged into her heart. Who would have thought? The last defense would be the first dead. Emlen didn?t rush to her side, didn?t cry?didn?t feel remotely human. (Not that he was.) He?d never felt so empty inside.

13
Sweet Crusades / Re: OOC Conversation
« on: July 09, 2014, 08:15:14 AM »
Emlen is now cutting himself, and praying for the wounds not to heal. -Facepalms.- Yes, everyone, I'm still alive! Just having some writer's block. Min/Val are helping me work that out! :D

14
Sweet Crusades / Re:
« on: April 28, 2014, 07:29:18 PM »
Something I'm not--Megadeth

 Your mind tells you that you've lost your confidence
 You're drifting and you don't believe in anyone
 To lose what little you have left to be proud of,
 Afraid you can't do this again, ah!

 You said that nothing come in-between us
 The way of getting things we wanted done
 Then enissophobia held you under it's influence
 Until you compromised your style

 Everything about you has been one big charade
 What will you do now that the well's run dry?
 To sell out all your friends and stab them in the back
 It's something that you are; it's something that I'm not

 When you forced me into doing what you love
 Mark my words no one loves you very much,  
 And when you tried to change me and tried to replace me
 I couldn't help but end just hating you, hmm!

 Being a fraud can only last so long, you should know
 Till what you sensed as a child returns,
 To choke out the voice that told you ?money and the fame?
Would fill the crater that you dug for yourself

 Unlike you I'm no vision to myself, lest you forget
 You didn't ever make medal, buddy; medal made you
 To crush and run over everyone along the way
 It's something that you are; it's something that I'm not

 A stranger to yourself, ha! you pissed me off again
 I won't be driven by your needs anymore
 What you'd become to do or be is clear to see for me
 It's something that you are; something that I'm not

 It makes me sick to hear you say you ?love me?
I know you only love what I can do for you
 If you were the one that was leading the charge
 Would you notice if I missed a day or two? But that's impossible!

 We all laughed at the parodies that you've become
 Now your pain slowly paid back has begun
 So, accept my resignation, or in your words ?betrayal?
Before it gets much worse, end this self-sabotage

 Something that I'm not, something that you are, something I'm not

 Something that I'm not, something that you are, something I'm not
 Something that you are, something I'm not...
Yet.

15
Sweet Crusades / Re: 5-7-5
« on: February 15, 2014, 02:10:09 AM »
I will say it once
And then I'll say it again...
...not what your mom said.

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