Red Dragon Inn
The Marketplace => The Fountain => Arcadia => Topic started by: LadyAjaBird on March 15, 2013, 05:28:59 AM
Does your character have a "cranky" person they deal with in Arcadia? Do you have "mini" stories about them?
Let me know, we'll add a photo to this gallery so others can enjoy your characters run ins with them too.
Introducing the insanity of Edna Johnson
Edna & the religious people part 1
There are those moments when it suddenly just comes to you, this is why this is a cliche. Aja had never really noticed a difference in one work day to the next. But lately, Monday mornings had become a special sort of hell as that’s when all the minor problems of the weekend would suddenly be brought to her attention. Usually in the form of Edna Johnson. Arcadia’s resident pain in the... behind.
Aja usually handled Edna like she did most things, but some days, Edna had her seriously thinking of ways to kill her and make it sound logical. Sadly, being a pain in the behind was not justifiable homicide. Yet.
"Don't you know what they are?" Edna asked in that shrill voice of hers while she shook a lace trimmed hanky at Aja as she spoke.
"No." Aja said without looking up at the elder woman. "But I have this feelin yer about ta tell me."
"They are evil." Edna proclaimed. "Spreading their lies across the land."
"Evil, eh?" Aja now looked up and at Edna. "Are they killin people?"
"Throwing things at people?" Aja continued on in the same bored tone, which was annoying Edna more by the second.
"So.. basically, Edna," Aja tapped her pencil on the desk. "they're jist sayin stuff ya don't agree with."
"Ah." Aja nodded trying not to smirk. She knew that"s all this was about. Edna thought things should be done her way. "Deal with that and move on."
"You're not going to stop them?"
"Nope. Not unless they start killin people." Aja returned to her files. "Then I'll be all over that."
"They want to build a church you know."
"Oh gods! A church!" Aja laughed as she put a hand to her chest in a mock heart attack gesture. "yer right, this sort of behavior must be stopped immediately. How dare they have a set of beliefs."
"Listen. In Arcadia, there are a lot of different types of people. I don't give two bits about what they choose or choose not to believe. Long as they don't expect other people to live as they do, I’m fine with them doin their own thing."
"Aja, these people will do whatever they have to in order to convert people to their cult."
"And while I can appreciate your point of view, and maybe even understand it. It still remains just one point of view. What makes yours better than mine or anyone else"s? Nothing. You are, like the rest of us, one voice in a choir of voices." Aja tapped her pencil on the desk again and stared at Edna. "So unless they start killing people or taking unfair advantage, I’m leavin "em be. As should you."
"Aja Bird." Edna started and Aja stood up.
"Edna. Git out of mah office 'fore ya try mah patience too far and I take a shot at ya. Now scoot. Go tend ta dem flowers yer forever and a day complainin about."
"Go. Edna. Go now." Aja pointed to the door and sat back down. Edna huffed and left, leaving Aja to shake her head.
"Why do I never remember ta use da escape hatch when she comes in here?" She asked of Peanut the monkey who had been hiding under her desk since Edna's arrival. He chittered at her and she laughed. "Right. Cause it's sort of amusing."
Edna & the religious people--Part 2
On any given day in Arcadia, the most unlikely of things could occur. Sometimes, to the point where Aja would have to step in and cool the situation down before it became a full blown mess. Today was one such day and it didn’t surprise Aja in the least to learn that Edna Johnson was at the heart of the noise going on at the edge of town in front of the little church that had moved in several months before.
When she arrived on the scene, there were a group of the crew men's wives gathered, some holding signs up that read, "We don't need your religion."
"Oh good." Aja sighed as she shut off the golf cart. "This is going to be fun." she ambled up to the middle ground between the protesting ladies and the group of churchgoers. Her guards stepped back and let her through to address both sides. "Hey!" she yelled, to no avail. Both sides were yelling pretty loud. Aja looked back towards her men, spying one of them with a shotgun in a holster. She motioned to it, the guard handed it over without hesitation and stepped back in line with the rest of his regiment. Aja listened to another minute of the yelling, before she fired off a shot into the air, which immediately silenced everyone.
All eyes riveted to the five foot six woman holding the shotgun propped against her hip by the butt end. She looked them over then handed the gun back to the guard.
"Just what in da hell is goin on out here?"
"You wouldn't listen to me when I told you they'd be trouble." Edna started then went quiet as Aja locked her eyes on the woman.
"So your idea wuz ta come out here, and start a riot?" Aja shook her head. "Fer da love of Zeus." she sighed. "Don't ya all got something better ta be doing?" she then took note of some of the women present. "Beatrice, I happen ta know ya got a bake sale planned with a lot of these ladies. How abouts ya all get back to dat." Aja motioned them back to town. "Go on." she motioned as the group moved slowly at first. They moved a little faster at the second prompt. "Get back ta tendin yer own stuff." The pastor of the church came up to her then.
"Thank you...." he started and Aja spun and eyed him up in such a way that he immediately closed his mouth.
"Oh, ya think yer completely off da hook here, do ya, Padre?" Aja’s tone couldn"t be taken as the slightest bit forgiving. "I’ve been seein yer people going around town and botherin the good folk with pamphlets and sayin dere all goin ta hell." She squared up with him. "I personally know da relatives of several of da gods ya claim are false. And believe ya me, I wouldn’t be goin about sayin any of dat stuff too loud. They have a tendency ta get cranky and shoot first. Dey dont care about da questions."
Whether she meant the gods themselves or the relatives was unclear, either could fit depending on what was said and just who had heard it. Thunderpants may not like his family, but she sensed he wouldn’t like be lumped in with them all willy nilly either. And Rhi, hells bells. That was the last person Aja wanted to see honked off. She stepped closer to the man, making him back up a step as she continued laying down the law to him.
"Now. I don’t mind ya bein here. I don’t mind ya having yer beliefs. But ya stepped over da line goin about mah nice quiet town and tryin ta intimidate folks into yer way of thinkin." Aja poked him once in the chest. "Yer gonna stop dat nonsense immediately. Hear?"
"We won’t be havin dis here conversation twice. Next time, I’ll simply shoot whoever is causin a ruckus ta happen and dat will be da end of dat." Aja took a good look over the Pastor's congregation. "All of ya. I mean it. Believe what you want to believe. I’m fine with all of it. But don't a single one of ya bother anyone else with it." she looked at each face to see if her words were registering. "If they want to know more about you, they will ask. No need to go forcin yer opinions on "em." she started to pace in front of the group. "We"ve lived here quietly fer over twenty years and I"ve grown quite fond of having dis town be a haven fer all types of people." she stopped pacing. "Dis also includes all of ya. I won’t be lettin anyone screw with you either." she saw in the faces that her point was getting through. "Now. Ya all tend ta yer own doorsteps. Raise yer kids like ya want. Live yer lives da way ya want. But make no mistake, I can and will shoot da next person who goes messin with da balance of dis town. Are we all understood now?"
The crowd dared not speak. They"ve heard enough about Aja to know that she was just as likely to shoot someone being a problem as she was just to simply issue a warning. Aja knew of this misconception and often used it to her advantage. They nodded that they had heard her and she exhaled.
"Alright then." she motioned to the guards. "Ya all git back ta yer duties. And you people.." she pointed at them all. "Get back ta yers. No more harassin folk. Jist mind yer own business." Her attention went back to the Pastor. "Is there anythin y’all need out here? Supplies, medicine?" her tone softened considerably and went back to her general way of addressing those who lived in Arcadia.
"N..no." the man stammered.
"Calm down. I ain’t shootin anyone today. But. Ya need something, or jist simply want something, come by and ask. We’ll see whut we can do about dat. Alright?"
"And stop with dat Maam, business." she said as she cracked a grin. "I’m old, I ain’t ancient." she patted the mans shoulder and started back for her cart. "Remember, ya need stuff, ya come see me at da Ship Yards office. We’ll get ya squared away."
With that, she got into her cart, looked around to make sure the area was cleared of any trouble and then turned the cart towards town to get back to work.
--Aja and the Beauty Shop Biddies--
Aja passed the random shops, waving at the shoppers and shopkeepers alike. All of them in cheery moods and quick with a smile. She loved living here, most people had a more hopeful appearance than the people she would encounter in RhyDin City.
Ahead of her, she spied the beauty salon, and the little old ladies that were there every week like clockwork. Only this time, they were giving her a look. That look. Ya know, like a shark eyeing chum. She sighed inwardly, she knew it was twenty questions with the blue haired biddies day.
As much as Aja loved those old broads, whenever they got that look, it meant they saw something and now wanted every minute detail they could gather on the subject. Grist for the gossip mill, of course. Given that Ajia had been in town with her new man, Haythem. Aja knew what it was they wanted to talk about this morning.
"Oh merciful Zeus, if you ever loved me, grant me a diversion." Aja silently prayed as she approached. When no such diversion came, she glanced up. "You rat bastard. I'll remember this."
"Aja!" Ethel Thornton called out. "Come join us for a pastry." She was cheerful. Too cheerful. "Yep." Aja thought to herself and gave her best smile while doing so. "This was going to suck."
"Good mornin, ladies." Aja said as cheerfully as one facing a figurative firing squad could. "And whut sort of mischief are ya up to this morning?" Aja took the seat indicated but first tugged it back an inch or two, giving her the option to flee quickly if she needed to. With the biddie brigade, one never knew when you might need to make a hasty retreat.
"You're so silly." Mary said as she patted Aja"s arm lightly. Aja glanced around the table at the ladies. Ethel, Mary, Peggy, Irene and Ann. Luckily for Aja, Edna Johnson wasn"t much for socializing with the beauty shop troupe. Aja wasn't sure she could make it a full ten minutes with Edna without thinking about shooting her.
The ladies all got Aja settled at the table with a danish and some coffee. Aja watched them knowing this was the "softening" up portion of this.
"Do you know how long it's been since we"ve had a chance to catch up with you?" Ann asked the subtle leading question.
"I"d imagine quite a while." Aja said diplomatically as possible as she picked up her coffee cup. It was one of those dainty lady cups. For a moment, Aja thought of the days she would spend at Ajay"s. His wait staff would bring her the same dainty cups. "I've been busy." she said and motioned to the town. "This place needs lookin after."
"You do a fine job too." Irene piped up. "Arcadia has thrived in your care." Aja waved a hand at them.
"I don"t do it alone. You ladies do a lot for the town with the bake sales and such."
----------end part one---Part two to come---
Aja & the Beauty Shop Biddies part 2
"Aja, dear, you"d attract a better mate if you dressed nicer." Aja eyed up Ethel contemplating bonking the woman on the head with the dainty coffee cup, but she refrained and just took a deep breath, Ethel seemed to sense she had stepped too far. "Or when are you getting married?"
"Ethel, I"m not getting married. I"m also not interested in finding anyone new to date." she took another breath to calm down. "So, please. Do not ask me about that." the ladies exchanged a look among themselves.
"OK, Aja." they took a moment to regroup.
"Who is that new man who has been squiring Ajia around town?"
"His name is Haythem."
"Haythem, interesting name. Who is his family?"
"Yes, what's his last name, dear."
"Uh.." Aja paused. "I don't think I know." She thought about whether or not Ajia had actually told her. Or even the man himself. It was likely that someone at the yards knew, since he had asked her for a job, and she sent him to Harlan and Rico.
"How do you not know his last name?"
"I have better things to do than keep track of the revolving door of my sister"s love life, ladies." Aja sipped her coffee, as she lowered the cup. "Perhaps you should ask my sister when you see her next."
"We don't know her as well."
"Sounds like it would be a lovely time to change that." The ladies paused wondering what to say after that, since it was clear they weren't going to get an answer from Aja about it.
Aja merely smiled amused knowing that she had essentially just made Ajia shark bait. The old ladies would have her for lunch and there wouldn't be much left for dessert. Parker was going by just then and she set her cup down.
"If you'll excuse me, Ladies. I must speak to Parker about some tests he performed on members of the yards."
"Oh. Don't let us hold you up. The health and safety of the crew must come first." Ann smiled.
"Thank ya fer the danish." Aja said as she picked it and prepared to beat feet out of there.
"Have a good day, Dear." Mary said as Aja passed them by to head to Parker.
"Thanks, girls. Enjoy yer beauty time." Aja waved and hurried off to Parker taking him by the arm "Pretend yer talking to me."
"Fleeing in terror are we?"
"Hellz yeah. I"d rather kiss a zombie than keep sittin there."
The Splicer, The Children & Edna Johnson
Aja worked with several engineers for a couple of weeks. She had an idea for keeping vessels from being boarded in the event of a losing sea battle. It would be a last line of defense. Inside the railings of the latest ship "The Splicer" were scanners built in. If a person's DNA print was not in the database, that person would receive one hell of an electric shock.
In the building stage, it was turned way down because a few men not part of the build team had tried to come aboard to borrow tools and were knocked on their arses. Aja had warned them and laughed her head off when it would happen.
"I told you.." she"d say with a big grin. "You don't listen to the captain, this is what you get." then she would go about her work, letting the crew member get helped to Parker"s for evaluation. Parker would scold her later of course, but she would remind him that she had told the yards employees twice now not to attempt to board that vessel without clearance. If they chose to ignore that warning, they deserved what they got.
Aja wasn"t without sympathy, she just saw it as a simple matter of consequences for not heeding a warning given.
On this particular day, Aja was hanging upside down off the ratlines installing a few sensors into the mast so the security net would also cover any attempts from above at getting aboard the ship. Parker stood below and looked around for her. It never occurred to him to look up. She grinned and lowered herself down silently, slowing and stopping just above his head.
"Lookin fer me, Paker?" she said with a grin and predictably he jumped. He looked up as she came down further and gracefully touched down on deck.
"Merciful Zeus, child. You scared me."
"I know. It was funny." she said undoing her harness. "What do you need?"
"I need your approval to send some tests to Riverview for evaluation."
"Parker, ya don't need my approval fer dat stuff. So what do ya really want?" she watched her normally stoic mage make a face. "Ya, didn't think that one through, did ya? Busted." she put the harness on a hook. "So. Jig’s up. What's the problem?"
"You know I wouldn’t speak ill of a lady..." Parker started to say and Aja smirked a little.
"What’s Edna done now?"
"She's been scaring the children in the waiting rooms." Parker said quietly. "Those that are not quite fully human."
"Oh dear lord. Let me guess, she calls them an abomination and other such nonsense?" Aja guessed and Parker nodded making Aja sigh. "I’m on it."
"How shall you handle this?" Parker asked curious.
"I might jist shoot her. But then you'd get all fussy cranky and insist that I shouldn't jist shoot people for being a colossal pain in the tookus, then I"ll have to send the crackpot flowers and she"ll think her behavior is completely ok and jist do it all over again."
"Since when do you ever listen to me?"
"I can't tell ya that." She smiled and kissed his cheek. "I'll figure something out, Parker." she paused. "Is there some sort of time that she chooses to show up?"
"On Wednesdays during the children's clinic hours."
"Crabby old broad." Aja muttered. "I oughta introduce her ta...Oh. Hang on." Aja grinned brightly. "I think I got it."
"You really aren't going to shoot her, are you?" Parker asked a little wary when Aja got that sort of smile. Aja sometimes came up with creative ways to deal with people she found to be troublesome. Something that sometimes led to the target of such, becoming very unhappy.
"No. Jist thinking of a particular young person who seems ta have a knack at handling cranky, stupid people."
"Young Miss Harker?"
"Yep. Mini mate has a talent fer putting adults in their place." Aja just smiled proudly. "A trait I greatly admire. And it's been a while since Mini Mate has come fer a visit."
"That is far too much to ask of Miss Harker."
"Trust me, Parker. If Mini mate doesn't want ta do something, I certainly wouldn't ask her to do it. But she does come visit the children in the waiting room from time to time to help them feel better about seeing ya. If Edna were to stop by at dat time, well" I would bet ya one hundred plat that old Edna would get her arse handed ta ‘er on a platter by Mini Mate if she started to verbally abuse the children in Maggie’s presence."
--The Next Wednesday: Mini Mate Visits the Children
Maggie was wearing the hat of the week, a battered fedora, as she let go of her mother"s hand. "I"ll be fine. I know, I know, manners. Always with the manners!" She grinned and reached for the doorknob.
Rhiannon smiled and shook her head slightly. "It never hurts to remember them." She kissed Maggie"s cheek. "I"ll be back to pick you up. If you"re ready before I get back, you know what to do. Right?"
Maggie held up her right arm. The bracelet glinted in the sunlight. "I use this!" She waved to her mother and stepped into waiting room. She headed for the reception desk to check in. Roberrie was adding names to the patient list for the day. Maggie offered a cheerful, "Hello!" as she set her backpack on the floor and wrote her name down as being present. She didn't wait for instructions, she grabbed up her pack and headed for a bunch of preschoolers that were parked in the indoor play area. "Does anybody want to hear a story?"
Several heads turned as she spoke. Those that recognized her smiled and answered, "Yes!" A few other children were playing with blocks and puzzles.
"I have a couple of books with me. Do you want a fairy tale, a princess story, or a spooky story?"
"Do you know Cinderella?" one girl asked.
A boy muttered, "That’s too girly!"
"How about three bears?" Maggie asked. "It's got a girl in it, but it's mostly about the bears."
A little blonde girl asked, "Are you going to play the bears and stuff again?" Her eyes lit up.
"I sure can!" Maggie was used to telling stories to Abby and Madison, who were used to the full spectrum of her story telling. Voices, puppets, and special effects. Some of the children in Parker"s care might not have been prepared for that. Maggie pulled three plush bears in graduated sizes from her pack. "Ok, are we ready?"
"Let's go!" a redheaded boy chanted from one of the rocking chairs.
"Once upon a time, there was a girl called Goldilocks." She gestured to the blonde girl. "She had hair like Lucy"s, all yellow and gold!"
"Like me?" Lucy"s grey eyes lit up.
"Yes, like you!" Maggie grinned and opened the popup book to show the page of Goldilocks walking through the woods. She made a walking motion with her fingers and the doll like figure seemed to dance across the page. That was greeted with ooos and ahhs from the children. "Just remember, nothing you see me do here will hurt you. Don't be afraid." Maggie held her hands over the book, which had been placed on the floor, and moved her hands over it. The forest scene grew larger. Every child now had a clear view of the staging area. Slowly, she turned the page.
"What comes next?"
"This is the bears" house!" Maggie showed a small cottage at the edge of the woods. "Most real bears don"t live in houses. They usually live in dens or zoos."
"What"s a bear den?" A green eyed boy asked.
"You what a cave is?" asked Maggie.
"A bear den is a cave that bears live in." Maggie nodded sagely.
"Ok. Can you read more now?"
"Sure!" Maggie moved the plush bears into the scenery. "The big bear is the Papa Bear. The middle sized one is the Mama. The itty bitty one is the baby!"
"Wait a minute!" Sally waved at Maggie. "What about Brother and Sister Bear?"
Maggie smiled. Someone had been reading some of her favorite stories. "They don't live in this forest. They live in Bear Country."
"Oh! Ok!" Sally leaned forward to get a better look at the bears.
"The bears were going to have breakfast, but the porridge was too hot!"
Another question came from a boy with gently pointed ears, "What's porridge?"
"It's hot cereal like oatmeal." Maggie suddenly understood how her parents felt when she was on a roll with question after question.
One of the mother"s came to gather up her two children. It was their turn to visit with Parker. Maggie like to think of it as visiting, it sounded better that way. Less frightening. She knew that it Parker was as gentle as possible with the little ones, but they didn't always know that.
"So anyway, they went for a walk to let their breakfast cool. And while they were gone ..." Again she moved her fingers. The page turned and it showed Goldilocks knocking on the bears" door. "She waited, but when nobody answered," she folded down the cottage and showed the inside, "she went in."
"That's rude!" shouted an older girl from the back of the playroom. "She wasn't invited!"
Across the room, one of boys was trying out his fledgling magic and making the blocks float. His playmate was wide eyed with wonder. "Look! He did!" she squealed with delight.
------------------------------Cut to Aja--------------
Aja stayed high up on the guards wall, keeping an eye on the kids covertly and also watching to see if Edna would be showing up. Wednesdays had become known for being a whole day of medical attention for the children in the area. Parker and his associates took great pains to assure the children they were there to help them and not hurt them. Maggie"s appearances also seemed to help ease the minds of the children there to receive treatment.
Maggie had a special talent at making the children feel better about having to see a doctor. Sometimes, Riddle or Peanut would join Maggie in her Wednesday visits to the clinic. Which all the children seemed to also like.
She was leaning on the wall looking around the city and low and behold. Edna was seen coming down the street, Aja started giggling as a song that accompanied the appearance of the wicked witch from the movie with munchin people started to play in her head.
"Well, this is gonna be fun." Aja smirked and went into the guard house with the special monitors that kept an eye on the inside of Parker"s waiting room and the playground areas. Complete with audio, Aja could be close by should she need to intervene.
Edna entered Parker"s office and looked around, Aja noted that Edna didn't even appear to try to have a cover to explain why she was there on a Wednesday.
----------------And back in the play yard---------------------------
Maggie paused in her tale to get a better look. "Hey, that's pretty good!" Other children made their way over to see what was going on.
Edna stepped out in time to catch the child displaying his magical abilities.
"Parker Madison! Just what sort of freak show are you running here!" she called out which brought Parker out of his office.
The woman"s voice succeeded in frightening the boy and caused him to lose concentration. He sobbed with frustration. Maggie put a protective arm around his shoulders. "It's ok. You can try again."
"Edna, I do wish you would simply stop coming unannounced on Wednesdays. It is a childrens clinic."
"I think you don't want me to see what sort of abominations are you treating here. This is a place for normal children."
And somewhere above the conversation, in a room with monitors, there was a pirate snickering her head off at what was likely to happen next.
Those children that understood the words Edna said or her tone were in various stages of anger and fear. Maggie understood, she"d heard them plenty of times. Edna was something she had learned to cope with sometime ago, a bully. Maggie whispered something to the boy next to her, hugged him and got to her feet. "Sally, you know the story, would like to finish reading for me?"
That was a first, the children had never seen Maggie pause that way. They had never seen her there when Edna was, either. Sally took up the task of reading, but a few children were watching Maggie as she dusted off the back of her pants with her hands. She kept her tone polite as she got to Edna. "Excuse me, but what"s normal?"
Edna had been getting ready to say something to Parker when she heard the question come. She turned her attention then to Maggie.
"Normal is what used to inhabit this town before all the riff raff moved in. Now we have mages and mind readers and those that could harm the innocent of this town with a mere thought. No one is safe anymore." Edna sniffed haughtily. So sure that she was right here.
Maggie set her jaw as she considered those words. "You know, some people are good until people tell them they are bad. So they do what they think is expected of them."
Edna was so flabbergasted that she looked at Parker. Who merely smiled at her and pointed her towards the door.
"As I said, this is a place for children. Which you are not. Come during adult office hours if you have a medical issue."
Maggie eyed up Edna, clearly the girl had more to say. "Do I look normal to you?"
Edna was now clearly confused.
"Of course you look normal. As does that one there, clearly he is not. Making blocks float."
"My grandma says, "looks can be deceiving." Just like you look like a nice lady, but you don't act like a nice lady at all."
"Well, I never!" Edna exclaimed and turned for the door. "I shall speak to Aja about this." and she stormed to the door and out.
"Excuse me." She said to Parker as she followed Edna out. She would not stand for what seemed to be a bitter woman bullying a bunch of children because they weren't the same as her.
Out on the street, Aja waited leaning against a lamp post near the doorway of the clinic. She had heard enough and gotten herself down to street level on the double to catch Edna upon her exit.
She didn't have to wait long as Edna came out, followed by Mini Mate. She tried desperately to hide a smirk, but she ended up having to look at the ground a moment to regain her composure.
"Well, well.. Edna Johnson" As I live and breathe. Ya do know yer not a kid, yeah?" Aja nodded to the door and gave Maggie a wink in the process. "Whut sort of business would ya have fer visitin Parker's today? Ya look fine ta me. Not da least bit sickly...physically speakin. Of course."
"Did you know what sort of children Parker is treating in there? Freaks!"
"Oooh really now?" Aja glanced around Edna to Maggie. "Any freaks in there, Mini Mate?"
Maggie cleared her throat and resisted the urge to say Not anymore. "No, just a bunch of little kids and their parents. There was a "" she paused, "rude person in there, but she left."
While Maggie thought of a different way to phrase what she was thinking, the "not anymore" thought got through making Aja smirk.
"Well. Mini Mate says there ain't no freaks. So. Ya wanna try again, Edna?" Aja came up off the lamp post and stepped closer to Mrs. Johnson. "Apparently there was a high and mighty, pain in my arse that likes ta stick her nose where it don't belong." Edna was now sputtering a bit as she tried to come up with a suitable reply.
Maggie lowered one brow as she listened to Aja and Edna. She raised her hand like she was taught in school. It was effective when grown ups were talking and she needed to say something.
"Yes, Mini Mate?" Aja raised a finger in Edna"s ever reddening face as she addressed Maggie.
"I really need to tell Mrs. Johnson something important." She waited a moment.
"By all means, Mini Mate. Ya has da bridge." Aja motioned like a game show assistant when she said it. Making it clear to Edna that Maggie had her full support. Edna certainly looked displeased by this.
"Mrs Johnson, normal is different for different people. You gotta learn to live with that. You got no business callin" kids freaks because they"re different than you. In some places, people would call you a freak." Maggie lowered one brow as she studied Edna. "Just a word of advice from a kid that isn't as normal as you think I am, it's not a good idea to make people angry that can do all the things you said. Especially not little kids that haven't learned how to use what they were born with." She took a breath. "Try being nice to people for once in your life, you might be liked instead of being the scary crabby lady that frightens innocent little children!"
"And out of da mouths of babes." Aja beamed a proud smile then turned her attention to Edna. "Mini mate is far more polite than I would"ve been. I see yer sorry old behind here one more time on children's day, ya ain't gonna like whut happens ta ya." Aja poked at Edna"s shoulder. "Ya"d do well ta take a lesson from Miss Maggie here. People think yer a freak. I'm inclined most days ta agree." Edna sputtered trying to come up with something in reply but the words wisely never left her lips. "Now git yer butt back home "fore I let Mini Mate practice her sword skill on ya."
As Edna turned away in a huff, Maggie turned to Aja and said, "If I was a mean kid, I'd be asking for help with setting fireworks up over at her house."
"Tell ya whut, Edna shows up next Wednesday. I'll let ya do jist that." Edna"s jaw dropped. "Ya been warned, Edna. Scoot." Aja waved her along. "Go on." suddenly applause broke out on the street, making Aja glance over. They had gathered quite an audience it seemed and most seemed to enjoy the show. Edna turned several shades of red then turned around and practically marched down the street towards her house.
Aja raised her hand for a high five with Maggie.
"Nicely done, Kiddo." she grinned. "Yer so my favorite niece."
Maggie gave that high five with jubilation. "You're my favorite Captain!" She grinned.
"Now, weren't ya in da middle of a lively bear story? We shouldn't keep our friends waiting ta hear how it ends." Aja patted Maggie on the shoulder lightly, glancing to see Edna steadily making her way down the street for home.
Edna & the transgender couple
Another Monday morning brought Edna to Aja’s office. This time, it seemed Edna had discovered there was a transgender couple living in Arcadia. Aja knew there to be several, but didn’t see it necessary to inform Edna of that fact.
Edna was ranting as Aja went over the usual Monday morning files. Ones that have doubled since Tristan went on vacation. Even though he had handled a great deal of them since his return, there were many files that required her approval on.
“That woman used to be a man!”
“And?” Aja didn’t bother looking up at Edna, cause she knew that wrinkled face would be sneering in disgust at the very thought of the subject in question.
“They have a child in that house!”
“And?” Aja’s bored tone made Edna huff in frustration.
“I can’t see how you’d let that happen here!” Edna exclaimed.
“What’s happening? Seems ta me if she used ta be a man, and no longer is, then whatever was going to happen has already happened and there’s nothing anyone can do about that… Not that we would, cause it’s not our life.” Aja moved some papers and found her pen, going about signing some stuff that Amy had sitting there. “It’s also not yer life. Why do you care so much about it anyway?”
“It goes against nature!”
“Science kicked natures arse. Game over.” Aja read over the paper she had just picked up, she sighed as she muttered. “Ten percent my arse.” she set the paper aside.
“Aja, this is serious.” Edna insisted on continuing.
“A head wound is serious, Edna. Would ya like me ta demonstrate?”
“Must you always be so violence prone?” Edna dared to protest.
“As long as you continue to be stupid and put yer nose where it don’t belong, yes.” Aja paused in her looking over paperwork and fixed Edna with a hard gaze. “Have ya learned nothing from yer series of attempts to push folks back ta da stone age? I will never stand by and let ya harass people. It seems the only way ta get ya to shut the hell up and mind yer own business is ta threaten ya with something painful.”
“Well, I never!”
“And then ya refuse ta see that yer da problem. Not anyone else.” Aja stood up. “I’m sorry yer an ignorant tight arse with little else ta do but harass innocent people who are far too polite ta tell ya ta go ta Hades.” Aja started coming around the desk. “Get a hobby, Edna cause one of these days yer gonna come in here and I’m jist going to shoot ya ta save mahself da headache of listening ta yer whining.”
“Hobby, Edna. I suggest knitting or something. I’ve tasted yer cookies and bakin ain’t one of yer strong suits.” Edna looked shocked. “Don’t be offended. Some people jist don’t have dat natural cookin talent.” Aja went and opened her office door, Peanut scampered on in and went to perch on Aja’s chair. “Maybe ya can take up sewing. Or gardening. Or even bird watching…” Aja paused and grinned. “And no, I don’t mean my family. I mean da cute little winged things that are all over da place.” Aja motioned that Edna should move now to the open door, since she hadn’t yet made the attempt to do so. “It’s a nice, quiet activity dat could get ya ta appreciate da simple joys in life. Not many get ta do dat. Ya should be grateful ya have dat chance.”
“I am going to find another way.” Edna sniffed as she headed for the door, Aja pulled her pistol and put to Edna’s chin making the old woman stop and get a fearful look on her face.
“Are ya frickin deaf?” Aja asked menacingly. “I said go find a hobby.” Aja’s words were slow and deliberate. She had learned over time that with Edna, you sometimes had to spell things out or she would just ignore you. “A solo hobby. If I even get one whiff yer bothering other people, Edna, I can and will make ya disappear. I’ve done it before to less bothersome people. Are we clear?”
“Y-yes..” Edna’s voice trembled then. Aja nodded and lowered the weapon.
“Good. I won’t tell ya again. Now git back home and find something else to do.” Aja shooed her out the door with the weapon before holstering it. Then called down the hall after her. “I”m gettin a babysitter fer ya! Make sure ya behave!” Aja then slammed the door and leaned on it, looking at Peanut. “It would be wrong fer me ta take her out and jist drop her in da middle of da ocean, wouldn’t it?” Peanut shook his head. “Awww, yer sweet.” Aja laughed. “Wanna come with me as I go kick da arse of the potato supplier?” Peanut chittered at her and jumped up to her shoulder as she grabbed the paper she saw earlier. “A ten percent jump in pricing? He better have a damn fine reason fer dat mess. Ya know, I think he knows Tristan wasn’t here… Little rat bastard thinks I won’t know whut he’s doin. He’s got another thing coming.”
Peanut screeched happily and went from one of her shoulders to the other. Aja marched out of her office and down the stairs. Mondays. Oy.
“Amy, call Sabbo. Tell ‘im ta meet me at our usual spot. We got a supplier ta go speak ta.” Aja didn’t stop on her way to the door. “Also, go through the crew list, see who needs some extra hours, I got a surveillance job fer ‘em.”
“Yes, Maam.” Amy replied watching the boss go out the door with a smile. Becky came out of the copy room and saw the door closing.
“Did Edna live through this mornings misadventure?”
“She did, surprisingly.” Amy laughed. “I don’t think that cranky old woman will ever figure out that she can’t win against the boss lady.”
Edna & her idea of crime prevention
"We should all be fingerprinted for the Watch." Edna announced when she walked into Aja"s office Monday morning.
"Edna!" Came the exhausted reply as Aja rubbed at her head feeling a migraine coming on.
"It's so any criminals can be found easily."
"How about pretaken mug shots?" Aja was kidding of course but Edna"s face lit up.
"It was a joke. Jist as yer finger-printing idea is a joke."
"We have to protect ourselves!" Edna insisted.
"Edna?" Aja started calmly. "Have you been attacked?"
"Has your place been robbed?"
"Any violence breaking out on the street?"
"Then I"d say yer protected." Aja got up and start to leave the office. "Unless you can come up with something other than your general paranoia, I think we"re done with this conversation."
"You never listen to me." Edna was saying as she followed Aja down the steps.
"It's because yer insane." Aja shot back as Edna followed. The secretaries were trying not to laugh at the conversation they were having. Aja continued on out the door, into the shipyards hustle, a forklift when whizzing past them and Edna nearly screamed.
"Do they always drive like that?"
"Yes. You're currently a visitor in their territory. So hush it and keep your eyes open. So ya don't get run over."
"You could tell them to drive slower."
"I could tell them to run you over too." Aja grinned. "And I"m considering that." Aja looked at Edna. "You should get a pet of some kind. Something to keep you busy."
"I've been here longer than you."
"And the town was almost dead when Tanner and I got here." Aja shot back as they moved towards Parker's office. "Now. Shoo. I have things to do."
Edna huffed and left the yards. Aja looked up at the guard nearest her.
"One of these days, I'm installing an Edna protocol."
"Tranq on site." she grinned. "Just to save me the headache." the guard laughed as Aja disappeared into Parker's office.
~Edna & the Internet Cafe~
“I know she’s here.” Aja heard Edna arguing with the secretary downstairs, sighed and got up. On a whim she grabbed her water pistol before heading to the landing.
“Edna...whatever it is ya want, I ain’t in the mood fer it today. I’m busy.”
“But the children are being corrupted!”
“And since when did ya like children?” Aja leaned on the railing staring down at Edna.
“Normal children are having their brains corrupted by those video games!” Edna squeaked and Aja just sighed. The new internet cafe also had a room dedicated to the video games, that Rico was all a twitter about. Aja had calculated wrong how long it would take before Edna came to her about the new business in town.
“Whut have I told ya about you and the kids?”
“Ut ut ut… Whut did I say?”
“Not to bother them.”
“Aha… ya do remember things. Heed my advice, Edna or I swear to Zeus. I will shoot you.”
“You wouldn’t dare!” Edna sputtered, Aja who had to battle grinning as she did it, pulled her pistol and pointed it at Edna.
“NO!” Edna flailed. Aja uncocked the pistol and put it back.
“Do not push me, old woman. I’ve had it with you and your weekly insanity.” she straightened and pointed towards the internet cafe. “And do NOT go down there again. Mr. Haggerty is a nice man and I’ll thank you not to bother his customers.”
“Edna. Go home. Go play bingo.. Go do anything but annoy me further.” when Edna didn’t move right away. “NOW!” Edna practically jumped and hurried out of the office, Aja watched through the high windows as she went out of the shipyards and headed in the direction of her home.
She sighed and then got back to doing the work required to keep the yards running smooth.
Edna and animals crossing signs.
"Aja, we must do something about the wild animals in the roads.” Edna proclaimed as she stopped in front of Aja coming out of Harold’s Ye Olde Market.
“Edna…” Aja sighed as she pocketed the gum and put the paper she had gotten from Harold just now, into her bag. “ I take it you almost hit another critter?”
“Yes!” Edna exclaimed. “Damn things are a nuisance.”
“Well, we did put a road through their house.” Aja moved around Edna and continued along the sidewalk with Edna following. “Can’t do much about their travel routes. Might I suggest you just learn to drive more cautiously.”
“Can’t you put in signs for them to cross at?” this suggestion made Aja stop dead and look at Edna. Mostly to determine if the woman was serious and it appeared as if she was.
Aja tried to stifle a giggle but it escaped anyway and it led to a full out belly laugh. The sheer insanity of what Edna had just suggested was just too much to ignore.
“Edna,” she started as she calmed down and looked at the annoyed older woman, “You do realize that animals cannot read, right?”
“Then what good are the animal crossing signs?!” Edna demanded.
“Those are for the people not the animals. So people know there could be a critter coming out of the forest at any moment and to be alert for that possibility.”
“Can’t you do anything to keep them contained?”
“Like what? Put up a fence? Put them in a zoo?’
“Yes! Those would work.”
“Edna. Learn how to drive.” Aja said stopping at the door of Primo’s butcher shop. “I’m not going to contain the forest critters cause you’re too dumb to pay attention while driving.” Edna was about to complain. “No. Go. I have things to do and don’t have time for this. Learn to drive. If you can’t, I’ll just revoke your license.” Aja pointed. “Go… very far away now.”
She watched Edna stalking down the street, cursing under her breath and watched as various people got out of her way as she approached. Aja shook her head with a smile. Ahhh. The fun and joy of Arcadia with Edna Johnson in it. Never a dull or WTF” moment. She opened the door to Primo’s shop and smiled seeing him there.
“Primo, you handsome man! I want yer meat.” the door closed on the sound of laughter coming from inside the butcher shop. Just another day in the paradise town known as Arcadia.
Edna and Arcadian Business Signs
“Aja.” she heard the voice and just sighed. Yep it was Monday.
“Edna. What trivial complaint has ya here today?” She grabbed a couple files and stacked them on the corner of her desk.
“I want you to have a town ordinance regarding the look of the store fronts.” Edna proclaimed and sat down.
“And why in the world would I do that?”Aja glanced at Edna who was in her lavender victorian dress with the high lace collar and that ever present pinched look on her face.
“Some of them are in neon lights and look tacky . Others are beautiful wood signs. It should all be uniform in look.”
“Make them all neon, check.” Aja did her best not to smile too much.
“NO! Heavens forbid! Make them all be beautiful wood signs.” Edna’s indignant reply was funny.
“I can’t do that.” Aja said and started to sign a stack of papers Rico had been generous enough to put smack in the middle of her desk.
“I have contracts with the owners of those storefronts that provide them with the freedom to choose whatever manner of signage they like, providing I don’t find them offensive.” Aja flipped the stack of five papers she had signed over and looked at Edna. “And as it happens, I do not. I think the differences in each business is good.”
“But it looks so tacky.”
“I disagree. I think it gives our town a unique look. Adds a little character.” Aja went back to signing. “I have the boardwalks all looking the same, and lit up the same, so the individual business, having whatever sign they see fit to draw in customers, is just fine by me.”
“Why do you never agree with me?”
“Why are you so intent on nosing in on other people’s business?” Aja stopped signing again and looked at Edna. “I will look after this town and the residents in it. But I will not meddle and try to fix what is not broken. You on the other hand, seem intent that everything fit your own little prudish model of proper. Not once considering that this town is a safe haven for people of all kinds. We don’t push agendas, Edna.”
“You push yours.”
“Which one is that?”
“Are there riots going on I’m unaware of? Rampant crime?” Aja asked seriously.
“Well no. But…”
“Has anyone threatened you without being provoked by you?” This one was asked with one her smiles and Edna looked sour.
“Is your home safe?” she tried not to sound too annoyed.
“Then I think you have very little to complain about to me about the way I run this town.” Aja started to stand. “Ya know, I keep telling you to get a hobby. How’s that going?” Aja grabbed the stack of now signed papers and came out from behind the desk. “If anyone needs a hobby, it’s you.”
“I am fine.”
“I’ll need a note from a psychologist about that, but ok. Now, you run right along and have a good day, Edna.”
Edna left in a huff, swishing fabric was all that was heard as she exited the office. Aja followed along behind, mostly just to make sure she left. Ahh.. Mondays. So much fun.